Resting on our Laurels

My barn really looked like a scene from the Headless Horseman

Not completely because I wanted the break but we're on a bit of a reinforced break for the moment. At first it was because of Katai's hooves, then those were trimmed and right around the same time I heard back from the saddle fitter and sent my saddle in.

I am going to be spending time with Katai lunging, riding bareback, walking down the road etc. Tomorrow I'm planning to give her, probably, her last bath of the year while it's still warm out. I'm also going to lunge her and possibly take her hand grazing :)

I enjoy these times because it's always good bonding time when I can't ride but it's also tough because I was very motivated after our last show and it's been tough to have this down time. I do feel way better now that her feet are short and much prefer down time due to saddle fitting.

Last week was employee appreciation
complete with AMAZING free coffee

In between the two I did fit in a lesson but it was very meh. Unfortunately it was also when my friend from J's barn came out to watch a lesson so hopefully we didn't scare her off. We ended up with a heat wave that day and it was in the upper 80s after a couple of weeks in the 60s so neither Katai or I had much energy. She'd also just had her feet done the day before and between, probably, the different angles and the recent lack of rides she just wasn't feeling her best. We kept it pretty short and sweet and while she seemed to work out of it a bit, she just didn't have her now normal willingness.

At that lesson we did some lateral work and a bit of counter canter along with more of our most recent exercise where we combine leg yield and 10 meter circles along one long side which is really a brain teaser for me.

At any rate, we survived and then I shipped the saddle out right after. Due to having too many plans this week I haven't made it back out :( which is unusual for me but not a bad break after all of the work we've done this year. I can't wait to see her tomorrow and should have more updates soon!

A Kick in The Pants

Winter is always tough on my motivation. The seasonal change is the worst but the depression and headaches that always gives me seems to be over this year which is amazing. The winter is just tough because of the dark and cold.

At my previous barn it wasn't so bad since it was kept much warmer, closer to 50-60* so as soon as I got to the barn I was comfy and could wear just a light jacket. This barn is much chillier and probably kept closer to 32* just so it doesn't freeze. Certainly not complaining but as a huge freeze baby I have to admit that it's been tougher to make myself go to the barn this year.

Especially when we have weeks like this in early December

I've still been to the barn 3-4 days a week but I'm still aiming for 5 so that's a big difference. However on Tuesday H was able to make it to my lesson and it was an interesting evening that somehow left me feeling more motivated.

To start this off I want to preface by saying that I love H. She's been a friend since I was in my teens and she's really a good person. I really enjoy spending time with her especially since both of us are into dressage ponies so we have a lot to talk about. The thing is though, that she brings out all of my insecurities. That's not her fault but mine for letting who she is get into my head. 

H is really a triple threat, she's gorgeous, petit, a beautiful rider, and (the toughest for me to deal with) she rides at an absolutely amazing barn with an absolutely amazing instructor where she regularly gets the opportunity to bop around on a 4 year old Gold Premium filly, a schoolmaster(ish) level horse, and ride with clinicians like Janet Foy.

It's not the fact that I feel insecure around her because I really don't and we both have our own strengths. It's more that I'm jealous of her opportunities. Even as a kid she had a well trained pony, good instruction, and a trailer when I had a green broke and naughty horse that had only been on trail rides, no good instruction, and no trailer so no way to show or take lessons since there weren't any trainers nearby that had lesson horses. Every time I'm around her it's tough for me not to wish I had had the same opportunities in the past and that I could have the same opportunities now since I still don't have a trailer or a trainer who regularly shows throughout our region.

Don't get me wrong. At this point I would never trade and lesson with her instructor (who's a well known dressage judge) instead of Jane. He is amazing but I am at exactly the right place for me and Katai right now and  I wouldn't move even if I could. It's just tough every time I see or hear about her scribing and/or showing at large rated dressage shows and talking about all of the quirky show things or partying with our regions top riders after the show.

This time was especially difficult on me because her instructor, who's also a well respected breeder (as you can tell since he has a 4 year old Gold Premium filly that I believe he produced), has recently purchased no fewer than SIX GRPs. Two are older (3 and 6 I believe), four of them are just babies, and H will have the chance to play with, help break, train, and ride all of those gorgeous ponies. 

One of them in particular hurts because she's a Golden State baby (from the same barn/lines(?) as Forest Nymph) who I was drooling over for weeks before I heard she went to H's trainer. Of course I'm glad she's in such a good home and excited to meet her at some point but it still stings a bit. The fact that H was talking about all the ways that her trainer thinks this pony might be lacking for upper level dressage (obviously extremely nit-picky things since he has a Gold Premium baby) made it sting more especially since I have an amazing but free pony, with no specific breeding, no traceable bloodlines, and not even close to "fancy" movement. Insecurities talking again of course since I CERTAINLY wouldn't trade Katai even if the pony were offered to me tomorrow for free. Katai is amazing, she's my girl and my partner and she's really what I want.

Galaxie from Pics Of You Videos on Vimeo.

In the end, after already feeling like H had been a bit condescending about my ride during my lesson (those damn insecurities talking again) I had an emotional drive home. I was completely aware of how silly I'm being. I mean talk about a bunch of first world problems! I have a pony I adore, a trainer I love, and a barn that felt like home the moment I walked through the door and here I'm disappointed that I'm not at a show barn and don't have a 5 figure GRP. Even I know it's funny, it's the fact that H has all of that and she's about 6 years younger than me that leaves me feeling like all the air got knocked out of me.

I processed the whole way home coming up with all of the above conclusions and finally, about 10 minutes from home realized that action is the best thing. Instead of feeling jealous or less motivated I need to just get my butt to the barn, work extremely hard and make opportunities for myself. I need to stop allowing myself to run out of motivation and go to the barn 3-4 days a week and just go and ride my pony! I need to start working out again so that I have the strength to give her a good ride (I died a bit at my lesson on Tuesday which didn't help), and I need to make getting a trailer this year a priority. This isn't about saving up and getting a fancy pony for me (even though I want(ed) Galaxy so badly that it hurts), it's really about wanting more opportunities. Not to win, but at least to get out there and show and to continue to climb up the levels and that's something I just need to work for.

Riding a Warmblood

On Sunday I met up with my boyfriend’s mom who’s an eventer. We had been talking about seeing each other’s horses and possibly taking them each for a ride. On Sunday we finally made that work by going to each other’s barns.

 

We started off at my barn and the day started out interesting thanks to the weather. On Saturday it was in the mid 80’s, humid, and calm until a storm blew through in the evening but on Sunday it was in the low 60’s and there was a crazy wind. I knew it could be an interesting day and when I got Katai into the isle and crosstied her I saw that the barn owner had chosen that day to work on one of the sliding doors. He had power tools, lights, and things scattered all over the isle at one end and although he was making some effort to be polite it just wasn’t a good day for that. Katai, already on edge after the walk to the barn, just wasn’t having it with all of the commotion and was displeased at standing tied for any length of time. Luckily A (my boyfriend’s mom) is an experience horse person and eventer and she also has a horse that sometimes decides standing tied isn’t a good thing.

 

We got Katai tacked up quickly and in the ring where she could move forward. I put her on a lunge to work off some energy and just had her do a few circles in each direction until she lost the crazy look in her eyes. Then I mounted up and she, as usual, went right into calm, relaxed, work mode. She has been working so well recently and Sunday was no exception! She was relaxed and reaching forward and down into the bridle. I worked her for a little bit and did some canter in each direction and then I handed the reins over to A. She was able to mostly figure Katai out at the walk but when she tried to trot none of her cues were working. I didn’t realize at that point how polar opposite Katai and her horse, Sailor, are but now that I know that I can see exactly why she was having trouble. Katai got really hollow and tense so after a break of some walk and one more try at the trot I asked if I could get on. I was pleased that Katai went right back to her normal work once I was giving her cues that she recognized and at the end I even got one of the nicest stretchy trots that I’ve ever had. It was a little low and on the forehand but after her tense response to A I figured that was the perfect way to end so we quite on a good note. We got her groomed and I even blanketed her since it was supposed to be down to the 50’s overnight and after the last couple weeks of upper 80’s and 90’s that’s just too quick for her to adjust without getting sick.

 

                                 From a previous ride, not the stretchy trot ;-)

After we finished at my barn we went to lunch and talked horses. We actually have very similar backgrounds. She’s a huge dressage fanatic but loves jumping and chose to keep eventing where I decided to go strictly to dressage. She does spend most of her time doing dressage with just the occasional jump lesson and a little jump work leading up to a competition. She’s owned and been riding Sailor for about 5-6 years and got him fully trained. He’s 12 years old and a warmblood (either Hanoverian or Oldenburg) crossed with a thoroughbred. It makes me feel like I’ve got a good goal to shoot for and hopefully Katai and I will be doing the types of things she’s working on when Katai’s 10-12 and I’ve been riding her for 5-6 years :-)

 

I have actually been with A to her barn before and I’ve seen her compete once as well. Sailor is a great, kind guy and really a beautiful horse. He’s got tons of suspension and is just the kindest soul. I was honored when she asked me to ride him because they are working at a much higher level than Katai and me. She’s currently just beginning the process towards flying changes and they’ve just recently become comfortable at counter canter. He’s got so many more buttons than Katai that I was studying her ride very carefully so that I could learn everything I could before I tried him out. She made him look easy but when I mounted up that was not the case for me. I’ve ridden a few horses that are right around his level which I would say would be similar to 2^nd/3^rd in Dressage but I just couldn’t figure out his buttons. A has a vast array of knowledge and had studied and ridden in clinics with some amazing professionals so she is certainly doing things right but I just couldn’t get him to do anything! It was slightly embarrassing but mostly just humorous to me that I’ve been riding for as long as I have been and just couldn’t get him to do anything really. A climbed back on after I threw in the towel and she was showing me his counter canter, which is amazing! He’s such a cool horse and they are an amazing team.

I think the best thing that came out of it was that I realized how much I love my pony. It’s easy to think that things might be better or easier if I had a normal sized horse but after riding him yesterday I realized that I don’t care, I love my pony. Don’t get me wrong, anyone would be lucky to own Sailor and he’s just incredible at both dressage and jumping but he’s just not my cup of tea. It’s nice to be content with my pony :-)

Announcements!

These may not be exciting to anyone other than me but I am pretty thrilled and want to share.

 

First of all, I believe I mentioned that my friend H had moved to my previous barn, with J as a coach, last summer. I was so excited to have her there but then as things started to go downhill I felt guilty. When I left I didn’t want to put any pressure on her to leave as well since she was in a very different place with J based on her own riding but mostly on her pony since J didn’t think he was “completely worthless”. I talked to her, of course, and explained why I was leaving and she witnessed some of J’s behavior to me but I didn’t want to feel like I was dragging her away with me so I mostly kept my feelings to myself.

 

                    H's Adorable Pony

Fast forward to last week when I met up with H for lunch. We started talking about lessons and how things were going and I could tell she wasn’t happy. She was mostly positive and trying to explain how things were going in the best possible light but she was upset so I talked her through it and eventually, on the drive to a tack shop for some retail therapy, she vented her way to realizing that it was time for her to move. I was still trying not to influence her much but I could tell that she was starting to see a lot of the same things I did when I left so I was glad when she stated that she was going to start looking.

 

I gave her some of the contacts that I knew about and she looked into them but also looked into a few options with contacts that she got from her friends. She was going to set up a lesson with the trainer I’m going to start working with (Y) but there were reasons for her to look elsewhere.

 

H lives about 1-1.5 hours away from where I live and the barn we both boarded at was sort of in the middle. About 25 minutes away from me and about 45 minutes away from her but she had to contend with more traffic. Now I’ll be driving about 45 minutes to the new barn but it would have still been about 35-40 minutes away from where she lives so when she realized that a top dressage trainer had a barn and training program only 20 minutes from her house she jumped on it. Most exciting to both of us, since we both are passionate about ponies in dressage, this trainer is one of the people on the Pony Task Force!! She’s went to see a lesson and has officially got a spot at this trainer’s (who I will call P for Pony) barn. I am wishing her all the best and can’t wait to go see her take a lesson. It’s wonderful to know that she has found such a great situation and I’m extremely happy for her.

 

I do have to admit that I am very slightly jealous. This is such an incredible opportunity for someone that loves ponies and wants to only every ride shorter equines. However, while every review is glowingly positive for P, I actually think that even if it weren’t for the 1.5-2 hour drive to study with P I would chose Y just based on teaching style, personality, and boarding options. I can hardly believe that I get to move a week from Sunday and it feels like Christmas J

 

The other exciting news I have is probably even less exciting to the general public but I am so happy and relieved that I can’t even describe it! As anyone who owns horses knows saddle shopping is like hell. Even if you have an unlimited budget it can be horrific trying to find a saddle that fits both the rider and horse for more than a month and if you add any type of budget to the mix it gets ten times more difficult. Now add oddly shaped equine to the mix and it really seems impossible. I’ve been wanting to consider custom saddles for awhile but my budget is just not $4000-$5000 dollars and that would only buy me a mid to lower end custom saddle brand (at least from the brands I was aware of). However, after much searching I finally found a custom saddle company that will make a completely custom saddle in my budget and that has almost only positive reviews.

 

          I think I'll pair it with this bridle

I believe I’ve narrowed down which of their models I’m most interested in and reached out by email earlier this week to get some more feedback on what my budget will need to be for what I want. I’ve made it my goal to order by the end of May/June and will make that work even if I need to get a part time job for awhile to pay for it. I’ve also listed some of my collectables for sale to help me get to my goal. I am so freaking excited that I finally found the answer to my saddle fitting woes! I promise I will share more information and pictures once I’m sure I’m heading down the right path and then Swanky Saddle here I come!

Thankful

The things I am thankful for this holiday season;

First and foremost friends. Lisa, the person that I rented from for while, not only has been extremely supportive this week (and always) but also knew that my family wasn't available today on Thanksgiving so she invited me to her family's Thanksgiving meal. She also gave me two pairs of winter breeches which is soooo wonderful since I have been freezing when riding but just couldn't afford winter breeches.

Secondly I'm thankful for a good job, a clean place to live, and a working car :-)

I am also extremely thankful for a wonderful barn and boarding situation which is easily the best I have had so far. I know that my pony is being well cared for and I adore the facilities.

Finally, for now, I am thankful for my wonderful pony and buddy Katai and everything that she does for me every day.

My Anchor

My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday on my way home from work, the week of Thanksgiving, by text. I'd had a gut feeling for the past two weeks that something was going on but I never thought it was that. I feel completely blindsided especially because I truly loved the guy and there was no indication that he didn't love me. He was still looking at me with gooey eyes, holding me close, kissing me on the top of the head, pulling me onto his lap on the couch when we were watching a movie together and we were having fun in bed.

I really didn't see it coming.

I did get him to admit that he "bumped into someone else and just went crazy" so whether it was someone he knew from before or just someone new I'll never know. I'm completely positive that he broke up with me because the relationship wasn't new and exciting anymore.

I'd rather never pull my outside life into my horse blog but this relationship has been so important to me and such a wonderful thing that I need to address it and mostly I needed to say that Katai is truly my anchor.

Tonight it was cold and dark out and I was sad and wanted nothing more than to go home, curl up in a little ball and cry but I wanted so badly to see Katai's fluffy ears, to hear her high little whinny when she sees my car because she knows that I'm there for her, and to put on her nice warm blanket to protect her from the cold. I even missed my turn on the way home from work because I was too lost in thought so I went the long way to the barn and sure enough she greeted me with a whinny.

I love her so much and this actually came at something close to the right time, if there is such a thing, because things have been going so well with her. I have been spending so much time at the barn that when I saw the text one of my first thoughts, after how could this be happening, was that at least I would get to spend more time at the barn with my pony.

I don't really know what to do with myself right now other than spend time at the barn. I didn't just loose my boyfriend I feel like I lost my best friend, or at least my best human friend.

Tonight I had nowhere near the mental capacity to ride. I brought Katai into the arena, out of the wind, and free lunged her over some jumps. She was full of herself and snorting smoke in the cold air, doing her best to make me laugh so for a little while I forgot about stupid boys and enjoyed my girl. When she was done I fed her her grain, put on her nice fluffy blanket and cried into her mane for awhile. She was calm and patient and wise way beyond her six years and wrapped her neck around me.

I needed my night with her tonight and I'll need my time with her this week more than every. I'm so glad that I have such a true friend.