2018 Goals

Sorry mare, there needs to be way more of this!

Buy a Trailer
Yep! It's back. I went back and forth about making this a goal because whether or not I get it, this time the other goals stand. However, it's a big deal and something I've been wanting for a long time so I decided to include it.

Bronze Medal Scores at First Level
Seeing as I had a bronze medal score for the opportunity class I did this past year I'm pretty comfortable with this goal. Not that it will be easy, but I'm confident that it's possible since even if they do score more critically for non-opportunity classes we won't be in the slop and we have already made significant improvement since last year :)

Debut at Second Level
I'm pretty confident that this can happen this year but we'll see. Right now I'm planning on this being an end of year at a schooling show sort of thing but who knows.

and more of this (so that there's less tension)

Attend at Least Five Clinics
Not to ride but some combination of riding and auditing. I was lucky enough to audit a couple of Janet Foy clinics this past year but I didn't do much else. Wether I ride or audit I'd really like to do better in 2018

Develop a Better Show Plan/Skills
I've been really disorganized for the past few shows and while I certainly got better as 2017 went on I still have a ways to go. I'd like to figure out how to organize me and Katai's stuff so that everything is smoother and way less messy. I'd also like to continue to develop grooming skills for myself and Katai so that we can continue to look more put together.

From back when I solo trailered Katai to the new boarding
place with a borrowed truck and trailer :)

Trailer Off Property More
Wether or not I end up getting a trailer I really want to get Katai off property more this year. It will be easy if I get a trailer (or easyish haha) but I do have a few friends with trailers and I hope to figure something out with them even if I don't get a trailer.

Way more of this needs to happen!

Go On Trail Ride(s)
Same as above. I really miss trail rides and it would be so good for Katai to get out of the arena. At some point I hope to end up in a boarding situation where there is riding on, or directly off, property but for now I need to figure out a way to trailer to some trails.

Do More Reading
I'm about 3/4 of the way through When Two Spines Align but got there awhile ago and haven't read since. I'd like to start over and really take my time to read and understand the concepts. I'd also like to pick up a couple of additional books to read!

More Blogging and More Media
This is on the list again too! I'm aiming to average 15 posts a month again which I'm completely confident I can make happen. I also want to take more pictures and videos and may be adding a nicer camera or video camera to my wish list as well.

Personal Goals:

Fitness
I've got another update coming on this soon that will help me achieve this but mostly I just really need to continue to increase my fitness.

Budget Better
This one was on the list last year too and I learned a ton and have been doing so much better than I was. However, I still want to continue to improve this and will really need to if I want to make this trailer thing happen.

Life Update

Trying to remember this on the daily

I also have a post about my lesson this week that I want to get typed up but I felt like I wanted to do this post first to catch up.

This has been a weird year for me in a couple of ways. The weather has been odd and it was a long, cold spring, then we had extreme (for us) heat. Now for the next 7-10 days it looks like our highs will be in the upper 60s with rain which is cold for us at this time of year. The weather has been so bipolar that it's tough to make plans or get in any sort of rhythm.

It's also been sort of a weird year for me personally. The weather certainly hasn't helped but on top of that I think I've felt a bit aimless. I've always had something like 7 big items on a list that I wanted to accomplish. For so long they felt so far away and I was constantly striving for them. Now I've got something like 5 of the seven checked off (and those are better than I imagined they'd be) but the two things left which haven't been prioritized to this point feel really important.

I'm struggling a bit with where to go from here since it feels like one of those things (a relationship) isn't something I can necessarily achieve with hard work and I suck at sitting back and letting things happen. It's also been really tough to still be alone and I've been struggling a lot with it recently especially as more of my friends fall off the map as they get more involved with kids and their spouses and have less time for doing things with friends.

The other thing is moving away from MN and it's always felt weirdly dependent on the relationship being accomplished first. Not sure why, maybe I want to have that support person before I leave home or maybe it's that it would be a lot easier financially. Either way, while I have a plan to accomplish this it's still a bit further out and the only thing I can do now is prioritize paying debt and figure out where I'll want to look for jobs when/if I decide to take action on my plan.

Both exciting and sad to think of leaving
this beautiful, green paradise.

Other little things have put me in a weird place as well. I love my job so much that I can't imagine leaving it to move (and yet don't want to spend the rest of my life living in MN), same with Jane and my current barn. However, Jane is going to likely be retiring from boarding at some time in the near future and while I hope she'd still teach lessons that's a bit up in the air. She's allowing some of her things (like her truck) to come to the end of their life and so while it's amazing that she's willing to trailer me places for shows I'm also really sensitive to the fact that every mile she trailers me is a mile she can't trailer her own horse to a clinic. I prioritized paying bills this year over buying a trailer but now I'm sort of in a place where I feel stuck and can't do as much as I'd like.

I was really looking forward to trailering to shows with my fellow boarder, K, but now very sadly and a bit suddenly she's needing to make a tough decision about retiring her horse. It's not my story to tell and I don't want to share the details but it's tough on everyone at the barn especially since her mare is the nicest, sweetest thing on the face of the earth. At the very least there isn't much hope or any plans for her to show with her again.

I'm certainly not posting this to complain, mainly it's a post about how everything is going so well (other than feeling a bit lonely haha) that I'm just feeling a little lost without all of my goals and wants. Also, things with Katai are going great! I'm slowly improving my riding and Katai is continuing to be more ridable. I can't believe the difference in her quiet, sweet, well behaved attitude recently. She tries so hard every. single. ride. and I never wonder what I'm going to get when I show up at the barn.

I'm also continuing to get healthier and fitter and still really loving being vegan. My job is great and I have a really fun (they aren't always but this one will be!) work trip at the end of July for a week that I'm looking forward to. I'm SO excited about going to Pony Cup again this year and can't believe that I'll be flying out two weeks from tomorrow. I'm also rapidly paying off debt and still managed a (well deserved) small shopping binge for things that I'd told myself I could get after my first successful show with Katai. I can't wait to get that stuff and will share it in a post soon!

Overall it's all so good but I've just been struggling a bit recently and since it's been reflected in how I feel about my rides and lessons and how much I'm blogging I figured I'd share.

Making a Horse

Hopefully a horse that can show!

I thought it would be interesting to share a little about what I'm focused on for the next couple of months mainly because right now my focus isn't on riding. It's not that we don't need to work on that because of course we do, it's just that with Katai's recent progress and my interest in showing we're riding above where I'd feel comfortable signing up for a show (training levelish). However we've got other things in our way that will prevent us from showing or certainly from having fun showing which is my ultimate goal.

Anyone who's followed this blog is pretty aware of the journey it's taken to get Katai here. Often though I don't think I share how difficult Katai really is (maybe I'm scared after having J tell me to put her on a meat truck). For all that she's amazing, brave, and pretty unflappable under saddle (although she certainly can have massive tantrums when she wants to) she's actually extremely reactive, panicky, stubborn, and a bully. While she is a bully she's also so reactive and inclined to panic that it's really tough to use tools that would work with other horses and tools that I was able to use in the past. It's a really thin line between appropriately correcting her for naughty behavior and pushing her into flight and fight mode where she can't learn and just becomes reactive.

I truly wish that I'd been able to get her earlier in her life and that we'd found Jane earlier because I think both things would have helped. I'm completely aware that I've made mistakes with her but I certainly have tried my best and really tried to learn from my mistakes.

Maybe at our next show she'll only do this
 a few times rather than for the whole show

Jane has been a real turning point though with her message of just letting Katai be right sometimes. I've stopped trying things that have worked for other people (be the leader all the time) and started to just do my own thing (read Jane's thing) with her which is namely, very little "discipline" and lots of soft, gentle patience past the point where most people would be patient. Suddenly, under saddle, she's stopped having tantrums, stopped blowing up, and become much more manageable even when she does get hot. That, of course, doesn't mean no discipline but certainly less than I've been used to. However, I haven't had the opportunity to try this on the ground since in her normal space, with her normal routine she's got absolutely impeccable ground manners (because I care ALOT about her behavior on the ground).

With that in mind, I went to the barn on Sunday with the only item on my agenda being to expose her to the horse trailer for as long as possible. I did what I'm calling "boredom training" and pretty much just stood on the ramp (for about an hour) while she did all of her panicked pony things until eventually she decided to actually walk up the ramp on her own. Literally on her own since I didn't put an ounce of pressure on her or ask her in any way to join me in the trailer.

At least she's been able to practice her Levade?

The issue with trailer loading recently has been that as soon as she sees the trailer she panics. It's not that she doesn't have the skills to load, it's just that there's no successful way to use them when she's in fight and flight mode. On Sunday this meant that when she rammed me into the trailer I gently guided her away and tried to just stay out of her way, when she reared and spun and bolted I got her gently stopped and quietly led her back to the trailer, and when she threw herself sideways off the ramp into me I got out of the way (I'm thinking I'd be a really good dance partner by now lol) and then tried again. Mostly I kept her out of my space when she was calmer by gently flapping the rope at her and when I asked her to move forward I didn't let up the pressure until she gave but other than that I just sort of let her do her thing. All of the whips and stud chains stayed in the barn and she was just in a rope halter and lunge line (so that I had more space to stop her) with leather gloves for me.

Once she stopped panicking she was in the best mental place that she's been. She actually calmed herself down and then I had my pony back. In that mental space when I led her and she ran her shoulder into me I very firmly moved her out of my way and then went back to coaxing and petting and baby talking her.

We also practiced some movements similar to this.
This will come in handy for dressage at some point right?

It was absolutely the most success I've had and the first time that I've had hope that we might accomplish this thing before we're eligible for Century Club awards. If you've been reading my riding blogs since I started with Jane you'll recognize that this is similar to how we started to treat Katai under saddle back in September and I believe it's the reason that we've made most of the progress that we have. I finally decided to try the same thing on the ground and I'm really glad that I did.

I didn't stop there on Sunday though I walked her all over the farm (lots more baby talking and petting and patience), stood by the side of the trailer and simulated how it would be if she were tied there (without the risk of actually tying her), and finally put her in cross ties in the barn and groomed her. She was still pretty up and then when the other horse in the barn left she had a meltdown. I had to use the panic snaps on the cross ties but then I just (gently but firmly) backed her. She'd blow up, I'd back her down the aisle with just light pressure and then stand there and pet her and baby talk to her. More blowing up, back down the isle the other direction and more baby talk, rinse and repeat. Eventually she actually calmed enough that I could put her back in the cross ties. Basically I treated her like she was a weanling. Finally we quit on that good note.

Lots of these to choose from really

Previously this week I'd also used the wash stall at this barn for the first time and had a passaging and panicking pony but handled that the same way, lots of baby talk and pets and we both survived without any incident. I didn't even get my head kicked in when I washed the gunk between her legs and on her udder which is truly a feat and had even Jane impressed because mares.

So, the real goal for the next 1.5 months is lots and lots, and lots of exposure, changes in routine, and trailer boredom training every. single. day. that I'm at the barn

January Recap and February Goals AND 2017 Goals Update

This picture took a lot of work! Pony kept trying to follow me.
Look at how cute her little Navy ROOTD is!
Also, "love" how everything outside of her blanket is yellow

January Goals

Ride More:

Nope! I did ride more consistently than I was in December but it was closer to 3 days a week than it was 6. I am continuing to work my way up though and the last couple of weeks I've been able to ride more consistently.

Focus on Forward:

Yep! I'm really happy with this one but now wouldn't you know, I need to ride more with my hands. Dressage is just so hard!

Groom Better:

Meh, I did more consistently groom with multiple brushes (George Morris may be having a panic attack somewhere but being happy about multiple brushes is where I'm at right now) than I had been and I did a nice spa day where I clipped, detangled and brushed her tail, trimmed her tail, "pulled" her mane, and sort of scrubbed at some of her green spots with a green spot remover. Overall I'll take it :)

Pony humor=pooping consistently at that far corner
so I need to walk as far as possible to clean it up

February Goals:

"Ride her Neck":

I'm taking this one directly from Jane. It's not as crazy as it sounds, basically I've always had an issue with getting Katai where she should be on the contact and correctly flexed and then I let it go and don't remember to get it back for at least half the arena. That means that she's going incorrectly more than she's going correctly and that's not ok at this point. I need to step up and RIDE! At my last lesson Jane coached me every stride to "ride her neck" meaning correct flexion, no pulling, getting her stretching forward to the bit, NO giraffe pony etc. and I did it! Now I just need to do that on my own and not make Jane lose her voice yelling at me for 5 minutes ;) I also need to not lose the forward, and relaxation, and stretchy that I gained this past month.

Ride More:

I'm making this a goal again. I don't know that I'll consistently be able to ride 6 days per week but I'm making it a goal again. I'm on my way this week so now I just need to stick with it.

Improve That Pesky Right Leg:

My riding position has come a really long way with Jane over the past few months but I'm still struggling with my mutant right leg. I'm going to focus on keeping my hip more closed on that side and keeping my leg back and not braced in front of me. If I can make even a little progress on this during February I'll be really happy.

Getting some use, complete with pony slobbers

Overall Goals Update:

No, this isn't going to be a normal thing each month. In fact I'll probably wait until the end of the year to review my overall goals but I did have one big change that I'm making and wanted to mention it now rather than waiting for December. 

Get a Trailer:

Yeah, I'm disappointed about it but it's for a REALLY good reason. The next few paragraphs are going to be about my personal life so if you can't be bothered feel free to skip down. It's just that this is playing into everything about my riding life right now so I figured I'd mention it.

I've changed a lot about my life recently and the reason  is because I finally stopped living with the idea that I was "getting by" until I have a partner and therefore a second income/all the other amazing parts of having another person as a support system. Last fall I switched my mindset to "owning" my life and not waiting on anyone else. Because of that I switched where Katai was boarded and when I had the opportunity I moved to my grandparent's house all so that I could pay off debt.

I mentioned in this post that I was hoping to build/buy a tiny house and wanted to do it before I hit 40. For the past couple of months I've been thinking a lot about where I go from here. My car getting hit was such a blessing in disguise since it meant that I could pay off even more debt and between that and the other changes I've made I'll have a very large chunk of my debt (everything except student loans) paid off by early next year. 

Spending way too much time pinning tiny houses on Pinterest...

The thing is that this living situation will only last through December (at the earliest hopefully) since I know my family wants to sell this house. I'd just stay and keep paying off debt for a bit longer otherwise (and that's still the plan if it looks like it won't sell this year) but it put me in a situation where I was starting to think about next steps. The more I thought about it the more I realized that it might actually be a good idea to go straight from this place into a tiny house. I've been able to find tiny home loans where monthly payments would be less than a cheap apartment in this area. Even better, it would mean that I'd own my home by the time I'm 40. That would give me so much flexibility to buy land and build a barn, at some point, that I can't even believe it. Even better, I could spend this next 7-8 years living in a couple different place so that when it comes time to buy land I'd know where I want to buy (hopefully).

This was built by the company I want to work with

Of course it's not a perfect plan but I'm feeling more happy and relaxed about my future than I have in a LONG time and it just fulfills so many of the goals/plans that I have for myself. With that being said the amount I was going to get for my tax refund was going to buy my trailer this year (a small, old, modest two horse since I just don't need anything fancier) but if I put that towards debt instead I'll have everything paid off by December this year which perfectly fits with the rest of my tiny house plans.

It doesn't mean that I'm going to let my plans to show this year go out the window. I've already started talking with Jane and as soon as the ice is gone I'm going to start practicing trailer loading Katai on her trailer. She's also willing and able to trailer to some shows as is one of my barn mates. The women who trailered us to the Hunter Pace lives two houses away from Jane's barn and I know she'd invite me to do more paces with her. Plus, L and my previous barn manager both have trailers and would likely be willing to trailer me and my pony places especially if she's more well behaved. I think that with those options this just makes more sense and is a smarter plan for me this year. I just need to be more stubborn about making it happen but I can do that, especially with such a great prize on the horizon :)

Goals for 2017

Goals for 2017

I'm going to take a crack at this again and will put my big goals for the year here and post more about some of the smaller goals as I go.

Increase Blogging Again

I'd like to post even more this year. Again I'd like to set the goal to post an average of 15 times per month. If I can do that I'll have at least 180 posts next year and that would feel good! I'd also like to increase the number of pictures, increase the quality of my photos, and to do more review posts. Honestly just being able to show more and travel with Katai more would create more interesting things to post about!

This is how Katai feels about having her own trailer

Buy a Trailer

Yes! This is finally on the list. With all of the financial stuff I've been doing including moving to a place with cheaper rent, moving Katai to a barn with cheaper board, and (the surprise blessing of the year) getting rid of my car payments in trade for a slightly uglier car this is finally on the list

Trailer EVERYWHERE

More specifically to shows but I couldn't care less what type of shows they are. There are a lot of "fun shows" in the area that are attended by a more western crowd but with $2-$5 entry fees per class, a relaxed but busy atmosphere it's such a good way to get Katai used to showing just being an ok thing! Of course I also hope to do some dressage shows, trail rides, and hunter paces.

Maybe if we really practice at some point
we can ride here, at the KY Horse Park!

Ride in Another Dressage Clinic

I'm hoping that towards the end of the year Katai will be comfortable enough with trailering that I could think about riding in another dressage clinic. I'm not in any hurry because I'm just learning so, so, so much right now from Jane but I just enjoy participating in things like that and hope that I can do occasional clinics moving forward.

2nd Level Goals

We're working on some of the movements from 2nd level and I have complete confidence that even if our progress hits a huge wall (and I know it will stall out at some point here) we'll be able to ride all of the 2nd level movements by the end of the year. Not sure that showing 2nd this year is a doable goal but I'd like to be completing all the movements at home even if they aren't all pretty :)

Flow

I LOVE when I have normal weeks and can stick to my normal riding/barn schedule. It just flows well for me and I stay motivated and am able to make progress.

Recently though it just seems like that isn’t happening at all. In face since my trip at the beginning of June I haven’t really had a “normal” week with Katai and I’m feeling it. Last week was our nasty heat wave and then trailering Katai to that other barn on Friday and then the weekend I had all sort of plan changes. This week I went to WA for work (last minute trip) on Monday/Tuesday and just got back. Being gone those days actually sort of aligns with my normal 4 day schedule (I’m still trying to get 5 fit in) but on Sunday I got a call from my BM that she couldn’t get Katai on the trailer, even drugged, so she was wondering if it was ok to leave her at the temporary barn for a while. I said yes, I’m happy having her there, the barn owner was fine with it, and I certainly don’t expect anyone other than me to deal with or try to fix whatever is going on with my pony and trailering but it just added a little stress to the beginning of the week.

Now I’m texting two different people to see if they’re going to be able to be at the barn with a trailer tonight so that I can get my pony back to my barn. I rode her at the temporary barn yesterday evening but I'm hoping that we can get her moved tonight. We may possibly be getting storms this evening which just further throws a wrench in my plans. I’m so lucky to even have a horse and have a nice barn to board at but it’s been a frustrating couple of months and I feel like we haven’t been able to make consistent progress or achieve goals the way that I was hoping for this summer.

A Graduation of Sorts

Tonight I am so extremely proud of my little girl!

Lisa asked if I wanted to bring the girls, Katai and her horse Liv, to the neighbor's arena that we finished last weekend. I have a cold but I knew it would be good for me to get up and do something rather than moping around so I agreed. I had no idea how it would go but it ended up being an awesome experience!

I trailered Katai down to the neighbors which was the first big step. I've only ever trailered her to bring her home and that time she freaked out and it took me over an hour to load her. She was understandably a little freaked out when I unloaded but she stood tied while I groomed and tacked up even if she was moving her feet a little more than she should have.

Lisa had elected to ride to the neighbors rather than trailer and the only time that Katai really freaked out was when she could hear Liv through the trees and they started screaming at each other. She pulled back twice but thanks to her awesome rope halter she didn't get free and calmed right back down.

I took her out to lunge her a bit and get her feet moving while I waited for Lisa to arrive and them tied her back up to the trailer while Lisa changed and adjusted tack.

When we initially brought them both I to the arena I figured it would just be a lunging day because she was still pretty worked up but as I actively lunged her at a walk, using the whole arena, she settled right back down and was being so calm and well behaved that riding just made sense.

So I climbed on. She was extremely good and having another horse to follow helped with forward movement. She threw her head up one time with naughty intentions but I just growled at her and she went right back to her normal, well behaved self.

After that it was all easy. I ended on a good note sooner than I would have liked but the day had already been full of new, stressful things for her and I didn't see the need to push it especially when she was behaving so well.

She again stood tied to the trailer like a champ and walked right past the neighbor's dump truck into his pasture without batting an eye. She and Liv will stay down there for the rest of the week so we can take advantage of the nice weather and the arena but I'm guessing that the new stable will be ready by this weekend so then I'll probably be moving.

I am so totally proud of my pony and myself for getting her to this point! Now I just have to work with her more consistently and she will be the most awesome, stubborn pony ever!!!

Next time I will get pictures :)