Snowmageddon

Not the snow falling outside, which is happening, but this particular 13.2 hands of snowy white fluff.

Don't let her cute looks fool you

She was a PILL yesterday for my ride. I had really low expectations for that ride and just wanted to do about 15-20 minutes of stretchy, bendy, walk and trot work and just a simple canter each direction of the arena. Basically the only reason I was going to ride was to stretch her out and help her feel better after the hard work of the lesson on Tuesday.

Unfortunately all Katai had planned was to do the exact opposite of what I wanted. I asked for a trot and got a canter, asked for a leg yield (again with the trying to help her work out the stiffness) and got a lengthening, I asked for a canter and got a halt and so on and so forth.

Supremely frustrating but I'm proud of how I rode it which was to just keep trying to find a mutual solution to the disagreement and yet I wasn't coddling her.

I think the main reason for the fussiness was that she's using different muscles and likely a little sore. Combine that with a pony that likes to get the right answer but now is being asked to change what the right answer is and she was both physically and mentally locked up and crabby.

Therefore our ride turned from a 15 minute easy prance to a nearly 60 minute tough, mental, sweaty workout. However, we did get somewhere. Recently especially I've really been a diplomat. I know we're changing things so if I can get even 75% of what I'm asking I'm going with it, probably to the detriment of our riding goals, but it has helped to mitigate our riding related meltdowns. Yesterday was no different except I wasn't even getting 25% and through pushing to get at least that much I ended up getting closer to 100% by the end on certain things.

I did end up letting a lot of things go, she was still VERY tense but was letting me at least bend her and help her try to loosen up. I also had to let go of the stride length because about the only thing she seemed capable of was tiny itty bitty strides. Instead I made those strides fall at the tempo I wanted even if it meant that it took us forever to make our way around the ring. The real victory was that she actually was letting me put my leg on and was accepting it in both directions and was moving away from it equally in both directions. She also was taking contact on the right rein which was what initially started the meltdown (although I started out asking for about 25-50% of what I needed and at the end after all that fuss I ended up with closer to 100% of what I need).

I was good for the ride and after I was still pleased with how I'd handled but also emotional at how far back this step is. I dealt with this pony (or a slightly worse version to be honest) for over 2 years and she's been SOOO good recently that it's painful to be back here. We're still along for the ride and I know this is just a blip but it's a really painful blip right now.

In other snowy news, the weather man was actually pretty accurate.

I took the picture above a couple of hours ago and a lot more has fallen since then. It's still 33* and the ground is still warm enough that it's melting on the roads and just wet for driving but it's really sticking around more than I expected on the grass.

Also, here's a picture of my new little snowball!!!!!!!!!!

Already practicing the side eye

I'm dying over here wanting to just snuggle her so bad.

                          

Alas, I have just over a month to wait. It sounds like the breeder is aiming for the last week in November/First week in December and is working with the airline right now to arrange travel.

As to the details, she is a long haired Chihuahua. One part of my decision is that I really have wanted a dog I can bring to the barn and, while Veggie is the perfect dog in every other respect, he's just too keyed up by visual stimuli to be safe there. However, because I love his personally so much (he's an Italian greyhound/chi cross) I've really been wanting a Chi. Add to that the fact that a LOT of my horse friends have Chihuahuas all of whom are really nice little barn dogs and I decided to go with it.

I looked around for a long time for a breeder I liked that was producing happy, well adjusted dogs (especially important for toy dog breeders in my opinion) and finally found this one. I got first pick of litter, however, one thing I was inflexible on was that I wanted a girl and, wouldn't you know, this litter only had one girl. However, she is exactly what I wanted so all those positive thoughts I sent to her mom must have worked :)

Now I just have to somehow make it through the next 4-5 weeks and I'll get to finally welcome her home!!

Holiday Slumps

"She's a pony and you're only human, of course you are going to lose your patience sometimes."
                                                                                                                         -My mom :-)

I adore the holidays but this is always when my riding seems to suffer and true to form I had a horrible ride today. It wasn't that Katai was that bad, it was that I was a total asshole to her. I was gritting my teeth and gave some half halts that were way firmer than I should be giving.

The worst thing is that I knew that she had a reason to be stubborn and full of energy because I hadn't ridden her enough this week and then when she carried through and was stiff and full of energy I got frustrated. Instead of pushing her when I knew that she was feeling up at the beginning of the ride I should have found a good note and quit.

I know that the important thing is to move on, learn from my mistake, and not do this again but all I want to do is go back in time and take it all back.

We have been getting better as a team. We used to get into arguments like this every time I rode, then it was once a week, then once a month, and finally now we're only arguing once every couple of months. This relationship between the two of us is why this blog is named Stubborn Together. My goal is that instead of being stubborn against each other, like we were today, we are able to both be stubborn together to accomplish something and most of the time that seems to be the case. Anymore days like today are the exception instead of the rule but I'm still frustrated with myself that I behaved the way that I did.

So I put together a plan since that's the best way for me to move on rather than just dwelling.

First, if I know that I can't ride 5 days per week (like during Christmas week next week) I'm going to lunge her and let her do some "proper" cantering but without me onboard to get frustrated with. That way she can burn off some steam, I can enforce what I need without being a jerk, and I'll still get the pony some exercise.

Second, I need to get back to riding 5 days per week on average. Katai does great at 5 days, ok at 4 days, and not good at 3 days. I can usually make 5 days work but I've been having a tough time being motivated to climb in the car in the dark and make the drive to the barn. I need to do this though for both of our mental health.

Third, if, when, I start getting frustrated I need to find something good to end on and just quit. Get off the pony and keep it positive. Letting her pick a fight with me is not doing anything good for either of us.

Fourth (the tough one), I need to forgive myself like my mom is telling me and move on. I'm not going to be perfect all the time and while I certainly wasn't nice to her it's not like I was beating her either. We will bounce back and be alright.

I'm looking forward to L riding her again tomorrow to see if she can provide me with further guidance about what to do when Katai is doing what she was today. Fingers crossed that it will go as well and I'll learn as much tomorrow as I did last week!