What I HAVE Been Doing

Missing my former coach right now.

With all of my whining about what I can't do, ride and just have a nice easy month where things go well, I have been working hard in the background. With the help of my support system I've really changed my mindset over the past few months from just feeling defeated to actually making some pretty big changes to how I function.

I've always been good at self advocating, having boundaries, making time for self care etc. but sometimes if things aren't going well, or I feel like they aren't going well, I swing too far and just stop doing anything productive. That wasn't such an issue when my life was boring but now as I have more adulting to do it's been really affecting my ability to function. Instead I've started to focus on what I can do and to just chip away at small things as I can vs. being such a perfectionist and just not doing anything since I'm unable to do it the way I want.

I've already claimed a corner of the basement in our new house and I want to do something like this plus some shelves and a storage container for grain. I can't wait to set up my little tack space!

With this last month or so of unhappy Katai I've done a few things including getting her on Ulcerguard over the past few days, getting her scheduled for a massage on Monday, and looking at her diet and making some adjustments. These all cost money and I've been really good at budgeting but in this case I decided that throwing some money at the problem was warranted. Even better, because of this change I'll likely be saving money on supplements long term and I've gone from 4 supplements down to, likely, just one. I'm going to trial it for two months, one month of loading dose and one month of the regular dose, and see how she's doing. Fingers crossed it helps with some of the tummy and hoof things she's struggled with. I'll update on how that goes once I know more.

I was also struggling to get Katai to eat her supplements. I think part of this was an ulcer flair but, tbh, she's never loved eating just her small pile of supplements (and I can't blame her because they smell like vitamins) it's just that when she had all night in a stall to eat them she'd eventually finish them off. I don't have all night to wait with her when I'm there. In the past I would have just thrown my hands in the air and given up but instead I checked with a couple of people at the barn to see if they wanted the remainder of the alfalfa pellets that I have to store in my car (since I wasn't feeding them anyway) and found someone who did. I arranged a complicated game of musical car storage for them and then stopped and picked up a bag of senior feed. Sure enough, last night when I gave her the supplements with a couple of handfuls of senior she gobbled them down and licked her bucket clean.

Really thankful that Katai's mane has grown back in!
Now hopefully I can keep it from getting like this again through the winter.
Also thankful she doesn't need to crane her neck to eat her supplements anymore :)

I've also been asking for help more both in my personal life and at the barn. At the barn I vented a bit to a fellow rider and then based on her response asked some questions about horse care stuff. She was really helpful and is in agreement with me that Katai is just taking awhile to adjust. She agreed that some Ulcerguard and just more time were what was needed. That along with T's comment on my last post about her ponies also having sore feet and some text conversations with Jen have helped me feel like this isn't that unusual and it's going to be ok. I just stacked the deck against us when I moved her during this weather change.

Flat drylot

For some perspective, before with stall board she was in from around 5:00pm to about 7:00-7:30am so for about 14+ hours she was in her 12x12 stall. When she went out it was into a fairly large, but flat, dry lot where the horses ate and then stood around a lot. Now she's out 24/7 in a pasture with hills and a slightly larger group of horses that do more moving around. When we moved, her saddle was sitting slightly low in front and I was shimming it because she'd lost topline without consistent work over the summer. Now, with almost no riding, her saddle is sitting even and definitely doesn't need shims. That isn't due to fat at all since her girth is still going up to the same space, I can still feel her last rib or two, and she visually doesn't have a belly at all. The only explanation I have is that she's out moving around, running around, and doing her own hill work and that's why I'm guessing there's some muscle soreness/tiredness.

One small portion of the pasture.
It continues to slope up to the right and this is about a third of the total space.

Last night I went to the barn after a work meeting. It was cold, I didn't have any dinner so needed to stop and wait in line forever (food is the worst) and was just over everything when I got to the barn. I figured I'd just give her Ulcerguard and her supplements and leave. I went in the barn, not even planning to change out of my work clothes, BUT I saw someone else clipping and decided that I was just going to stick with it and do it. I changed to barn clothes, got the pony, and started clipping her. I was about a square foot into it with an almost new set of clipper blades when they just completely stopped working. In the past I would have just packed up and left and ordered a new blade but instead I asked the other boarder who was clipping for help. She, low and behold, works as a dog groomer and has a TON of knowledge of clippers. She helped me figure out how to change out my blade drive and then when that didn't work lent me a set of her blades (which happened to fit my clipper) so that I could finish. She was so lovely and helpful about it that it was a good learning for me.

From pictures like (from the old barn) this I can tell that she's really getting her
muscle back at the new barn despite not much riding

Because of that perseverance I now have a clipped pony who is actually eating her important supplements and who is on the path to an ulcer free existence. I'm hoping that with some additional ulcer guard, being back on her tummy supplements, and the massage on Monday she'll be on the right track. I'm also hoping that the hoof supplement gets here today, or tomorrow, so that I can get her started on that and see if that does anything. Hopefully we can be fully back on track in the next week or so and I can reschedule the lesson I needed to cancel this week!

Real Deal: Lesson Recap 9/6

I had my first scheduled, normal lesson with Jane this past Tuesday and, no big surprise, it was AMAZING af. I'm going to list bullet points of the items we worked on since I feel like that's the best way for me to journal all of this and for me to not miss something. So, without further ado here is the massive list of what we're working on!

- My way of thinking about training/riding Katai is something that Jane has made big changes with. For some things, such as proper bend to the left, she wants me to realize that it's really difficult and probably uncomfortable for her. This has made me think very differently about how I ask for it and she wants me to give time for her to accept it rather than "making her" where for things without the same limitation I might expect a more immediate reaction. The other changes in my thinking are in thinking like my contact like a hug rather than an aid. I'm very demanding of myself and it's easy for me to be the same with Katai and not be as gentle and respectful of her as I should be. I'm really enjoying working with a coach that takes that into account.

- Leg contact is another big thing we are working on. Jane is insisting that Katai accept that contact right from the beginning of my ride and it's meant that she is way less resistant to it throughout my entire lesson. Again I'm focusing on the hug feeling and trying to keep it as pleasant as possible. She wants it to be pleasant most of the time and very gentle. No thumping her in the sides, no pushing her, no unpleasantness at all for right now. Firm yes but for the time being we're focusing on it being pleasant.

- We are also working on slowing me down. I function very quickly as a human being, I rush through a lot and have a tough time stopping and slowing down. I can be in the moment and still rushed but I've been trying to slow things down. I'm the same way with Katai which was made worse by the problem she had with rearing. I got used to feeling her suck back and having to really push her forward. However, that rushes her, makes her tense, and makes her feel like running away. Jane has been really emphasizing that even if she breaks into a walk its ok. It's ok, where are we going in such a hurry, why does she need to keep trotting, this is fun, it's a slow process and it can be a slow process and I need to just take a breath and slow down. I feel like she's good for my life in general and not just my riding :)

- She also found something that I've been unhappy about in my riding but never really knew what was causing it. I think we all feel like we look awkward when we see ourselves in videos and pictures but there's been this thing that seems off but that I can't really identify and Jane saw it the moment she saw me on a horse. She says that I perch when I'm riding particularly at the walk, but it effects my trotting as well. She wants me to really release my hips and sit down on Katai's back. This is really, really tough for me. Not that some of the things above aren't but with those I feel like I have moments where I REALLY get them and just need to make it more consistent, with this I feel like I kind of get it for a second or two but haven't been able to consistently get it when I'm trying.

- I also found out that I've clearly identified that we're still struggling with bend. With the help of the arena mirrors and Jane's coaching I was really able to see just how bad it is sometimes when it still looks good from above. We're at a point where Jane won't accept me not having Katai in the correct bend. Poor Jane needs to yell at me for it a lot but we're going to get better quick! Lot's of practice in our future.

- She's also making a couple of minor changes in my equipment. She loves my new saddle (I had my first lesson with her in back in July in my old saddle) but wants me to get regular fillis irons for the different feel they give and, I may have mentioned, that she wants me to use side reins instead of my neck stretcher because she doesn't like the way that the bungie pulls down on their poll. I still have my side reins but unfortunately I sold my old irons. Oh well, they'll be easy to pick up at a used tack sale!