So Lame

The poor lame beast herself

Well, I was really hoping to have a better more positive update but instead I have an update that Katai is very lame. In all the time I’ve owned her she’s had periods where she’s been off but almost never actually been head bobbing lame. Unfortunately I don’t seem to have dodged the bullet this time so in the theme of us just not catching a break…

Two weeks ago I rode three times and she was awesome. Mondays ride was ground pole day with my friend M which I’ve written about. Then Tuesday I had a good, if quiet, ride where she felt a little flat and tired but was sound. On Friday I had a FANTASTIC ride that I was looking forward to blogging about. Her canter felt strong and it felt like she had presence again rather than just being flat and tired. I was so happy and encouraged. I didn’t push her hard any of those days and only rode about 15-25 minutes each day to slowly start building her strength.

Prior to the lameness the boyfriend and I did a road trip to
 Chicago for a live show at the Chicago Theater.

Saturday and Sunday I just fed supplements and treated her feet. I was really happy to feel like I was getting back to consistent rides and looking forward to making more progress the next week. Then on Monday I went out, planning to do a ground pole ride again, but when I went to put her halter on she backed up from the round bale and sort of stumbled on her left hind. My stomach sank immediately.

I got her halter on and walked her up to the barn. I was hoping maybe she had an abscess but she seemed more upset about lifting and moving her leg forward than standing on it (although that seemed uncomfy too). I asked the barn owner and another boarder to give me their opinion while I walked and trotted her in the arena. They thought that, while she was clearly lame, it wasn’t awful and she could have just slipped and pulled something. I asked if she were there horse if they’d call the vet and they said to give it a day or two. Luckily another boarder had the vet coming out that Thursday so I decided to give her Tuesday and then on Wednesday evening have L watch her trot out and make my decision from there. L is experienced with lameness spotting so I figured she could let me know if she thought it was improving enough or not.

I'm loving this gorgeous thing. Review coming soon!

Tuesday I gave ulcer meds and cleaned feet and actually thought she looked slightly better and more confident on her leg. Wednesday evening came and I did supplements and hooves while L finished up a lesson. When L was available I brought in the arena. At the walk L was able to see it but only barely and I started feeling better but then I trotted her and my stomach sank again. She was REALLY off on that hind leg at the trot, worse than on Monday :( L said if it were her she'd call the vet in the next couple of days so I called the vet clinic and get Katai added to the vet’s schedule for the following day. Then I proceeded to FREAK out.

It was awesome to be able to chat with Jen from CobJockey and M from the barn because I just haven’t had to deal with this ever *knocks on wood* On Thursday I literally felt like I was going to throw up and barely made it through the morning without a panic attack. I got to the barn early and brought Katai in to get her cleaned up.

Standing in the barn with her was interesting with where my anxiety was at and I plan to do a separate post on that experience. Eventually though the vet got there, finished pulling coggins on the other horse, and I handed her off to him and his assistant. The vet had her walk and jog and I was relieved to see that she was much better again, even better than Monday from what I could tell. After being a 4/5 lame or so on Wednesday the vet put her at a 1/5 lame at that appointment. He also had me walk and trot her on a small circle where she also didn’t look bad. She didn’t react to hoof testers or any palpation. He thinks, as does L, that it’s something high up potentially in her stifle and is likely soft tissue since she doesn’t have any heat or swelling whatsoever that we can find. It had gotten muddy again a day or so before she hurt herself so I suspect she was running around and either fell or slipped and strained it.

I laugh to keep from crying

His recommendation? Stall or paddock rest for 5-7 days, a steroid injection, and bute for 5 days. I was worried about stall rest because if left alone in a stall with no other horses in the barn she would spin, rear, and try to run in circles around her stall. Luckily I have an awesome barn owner who found me a small paddock for her that is the best of both worlds. I moved her over there on Thursday afternoon and would like to keep her in there through Wednesday and then walk and trot her out for L again on Wednesday evening to see if we need to do further intervention or not. In the meantime she’s getting supplements, ulcer meds, bute, and her feet still treated since we had a warm up and are back to mud again. I also finished her clip finally. The bute will delay her ulcer med plan so I’m going to add a couple more weeks on just to make sure I completely let those heal before I stop her meds.

I’ve got all of my digits crossed that she’ll fully recover by Wednesday and then L and I can make a plan to very slowly and lightly bring her back to work.

Through the Ringer

Yikes, I was doing better with posting for a while and now it’s been almost a month again. There’s a reason for that but I’m not happy about it. Basically ever since we’ve moved Katai has had random stuff going on. None of it seems to really be related, none of it seems to point to needing the vet, and none of it is easily addressed. Mostly I think she’s, as I’ve mentioned before, a very sensitive flower that’s dealing with a lot of change at the same time and I feel really awful and guilty about that but at this point it is what it is. Everything from a few massive heat cycles, being tired out, muscle stiffness, sore feet, an ulcer flare, not getting enough magnesium so being a hellion, etc. Below is a timeline if you want to read a bunch of boring stuff about pony’s slight offness.

-The week after I got back from the cabin I was only able to get myself to go out and give her supplements a few times throughout the rest of the week. Then the Saturday after (10/5) she was on fire! She felt great and we had a great, if slightly short, ride. I was happy and feeling like she was adjusting finally after being pretty tired and muscle sore for the 3 weeks or so after she moved.

Tiny dog is judging me for disturbing her

-The following week on Tuesday I lunged her in the Vienna reins and she was good but sluggish which is very unlike her. This has been the theme since she’s been on pasture board and I suspect she’s just using a lot of energy in running around when she would have been in a stall before. She’s definitely building muscle and I love that but it’s also tough waiting for her to adjust and get used to having all that additional time to use up energy.

-Wednesday and Thursday that week I did a couple of light rides and had a couple of fellow boarders watch because she was short in her stride but not off and still lethargic. Both fellow boarders agreed that she wasn’t off (evenly short) and basically seemed to think I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. Since I know I’m a bit of a pony hypochondriac I felt better and decided to give her the weekend off.

At least I'm loving my new tack set up?

- On Monday I was going to go out but I got stuck at work really late so she ended up with 3 days off. Then on Tuesday she was lethargic again but I did more of a ride and worked really hard on trying to loosen up muscles to see if it’s just that she was really tight. She did actually make progress! I got lots of snorts and sighs and by the end she had a more normal stride length for how she’s been going recently. She also just felt much looser and more forward. I was really encouraged!

- Wednesday I went out and had a plan to do similar work but when I touched her girth to tighten it (didn’t even get the buckle undone to tighten) she had a massive girthy, pain response. I tried the other side and got a similar response. She’s not a girthy pony, and hadn’t had a girthy response the day before, so it was pretty clear she was having a bad ulcer response suddenly. Strangely(?) enough most of the horses at the barn seem to be having an ulcer issue right now. I’m not sure if it’s just the weather change, or the change from grass to just hay, or something about the hay but it seems to be the norm. That makes me feel a bit better but I also hate seeing her uncomfortable.

-The rest of the week I’ve been out basically treating her for ulcers, putting thrush meds in her feet, and doing blanket changes as needed. S he’s still been tight and lethargic so I’m still not sure what’s going on there but again, no one other than me seems to even notice so maybe I’m just worried about nothing.

Grrr, I really wish they could tell us what’s going on. She’s also either been sore muscle wise or had sore feet off and on. The high anxiety, panicky part of me is worried that she’s having a laminitis flair because of the tiny amount of grass she can get but she hasn’t had an increased pulse or heat in her feet. It has been SUPER rainy though so I suspect she’s just got tender footsies from standing in the muck and rain 24/7. Hopefully she’s not brewing an abscess.

At the cabin, boyfriend is good at helping his grandma <3

I’m getting out there about 4-6 days a week right now to make sure she’s getting supplements, meds, etc. which is tough because as this is happening I’m also dealing with some bad depression. You know what could help that? Having a pony who feels happy, comfortable, and sound and being able to ride and get that form of exercise.

Honestly? I’m really, really, really, really tired of dealing with all of this. I feel like this sort of thing is made worse because of how sensitive she is and yet I wouldn’t ask for her to hide any of this. I just hate having this sort of domino, one thing after another, sort of situation that feels like it’s been going on low key since I was still boarding at Jane’s. Can’t the universe just give us a break and a month where things just smooth out, we can make some progress, and we’re both feeling ok?

I know it’s not fair for her, as another being who’s dealing with her own crap, but I just want this part of my life to be working well right now and to be my rock while I’m dealing with mental health stuff as the season changes.

Honesty Is the Best Policy

I had another post all planned out about my ride on Tuesday and today but then I realized that it was another post where I talked about Katai being a little sore or off and that by now anyone reading probably either thinks that;

A: My pony is broken
B: My pony is broken and why haven't I called the vet
C: That I'm a horse hypochondriac (spoiler alert, this is a little true)

So, I decided that instead of posting that again I'm going talk a little about what this is all about. Call this a little personal therapy session if you will ;-)

The first thing that feeds into this is that Katai is extremely honest. She really is a sensitive flower and is very clear about things when they don't feel completely well or if she's even slightly sore or uncomfortable. It doesn't mean that I give that any less weight to what she tells me, just that I need to translate that from the normal equivalent and I'm not very good at that.

who could say no to this face

The other thing is that I am a bit of a horse hypochondriac. At any small slight shortness or sore muscle (I poke and prod at her after ride especially if there's any type of shortness or attitude) and look for that kind of stuff. Plus, then when I find something like that I never know when I should actually ride and when I should call it and give her the day off or maybe just walk.

I know that I baby her too much but I'm just not sure what's ok. I know that to get her strong enough she needs to occasionally work with sore muscles, after all I do the same, but at the same time when is that ok and when is it not.

This also always gets worse when I fall in love. I had some horrible experiences when I was growing up on the farm. Many animals that I loved died and some in horrific ways. Sometimes they were babies or young animals that just shouldn't have died that early in their life. I learned to keep my heart at bay and now it takes me years in some cases to actually love. I've only just started to really be able to give my heart to Katai and with that comes treating her like glass. Also, every time she's a little off I start trying to pull my heart away since part of me seems to think that every time she's a little off it's a career ending injury or something that will lead to needing put her down.

Crazy I know but those scars are going to take awhile to heal since they were the first 20 or so years of my life.

So, my question to you is when do you call it. When do you ride through soreness and when do you call it and either do an easy ride or not ride at all. Or, is your horse the stoic type where you never know and just give them an easy day after you know they've had a tough one.