Moving

I was hoping to have more photos but alas, I’m bad at remembering to take them.
 Instead we’ll do a photo tour of previous barns starting with J's Barn

These have stopped being exciting adventures at this point and are more like slightly annoying necessities lol. With that being said, I have been trying have the mindset of using this move to continue to prep for trailering to shows or as traveling practice in general. I actually talked about it with my therapist and she gave me some homework as far as keeping my anxiety low. She also reminded me that something that’s super scary for both of us like trailering is not the place to focus on others and instead to ask for what we need and focus on our relationship. While my therapist isn’t a horse person it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear and continues right along with the theme of really focusing on the relationship and trust that Katai and I have built.

Temporary "escape from J's barn" barn

A lot of the anxiety with moving Katai comes from knowing that she’s not always a great loader and then feeling embarrassed and guilty that she isn’t better. In all honesty I work hard on it and try to utilize resources (such as others offering to let me practice loading her) whenever I can. This summer alone I practiced in two different trailers, one a few different days, and we made some progress. I also really hate feeling judged. As I told my therapist horse people can be extra judgy and part of why I moved was that the people at my previous barn were super extra special judgy which definitely increase my anxiety about everything including getting her loaded.

Crazy people barn

That morning I actually was managing to keep my anxiety low on the drive to the barn. I was working through some of the homework I had from my therapist specifically for pony moving. When I got to the barn though I saw that two of the judgiest people (and most forceful handlers) were there and got scared. One of the two (miss nosy) was the person who was bullying me when I first moved in. We have an understanding but I still don’t trust her to help or handle my pony at all and knew that she’d try to insert herself in getting Katai loaded. She had also seen me doing trailer practice with Katai on a day when I’d neglected to use a lunge line and, because of that, Katai got free and spooked her horse. I felt super bad about it but horses will be horses and humans will be humans and it was extra unfortunate since that literally hasn’t happened since I first got my pony and of course that was the horse that she spooked *headdesk*. I apologized to her that day but she didn’t handle it very well.

Lovely barn, I only moved because it got too expensive for my living situation at the time

Anyway, on Sunday I was at the barn early so I picked up the last few things. After a while the new barn owner, who we’ll call M, showed up with the trailer and I was relieved to see that it was fully open in the back and had a ramp since I knew that both things would help Katai load quickly. I ignored miss nosy inserting herself into the conversation and walked up to M and let her know how she could help which was basically to stand off to the side, wait for me to walk Katai in, and then hold the doors shut so that I could fasten her up. M looked doubtful and my stomach churned but she heard me. I went and got Katai and led her back to the trailer and could tell that as I walked up miss nosy had been telling M what an awful loader Katai was. I marched right up into the trailer, Katai followed, pulled back once, and then walked right on and turned around. She proceeded to stand fairly quietly next to me while M pushed the doors shut. I tied her up, fastened the slant, and then walked out of the trailer. The whole thing took less than 3 minutes and miss nosy was nowhere to be seen when I walked out of the trailer.

Jane's barn <3

M locked up the trailer, I hopped in my car and we had an uneventful trip to the barn. Very nicely M asked me if I needed anything when I went to unload her. We basically reversed the process, Katai unloaded nicely, and then we walked her to the pasture and let her go to start introducing herself. The whole thing including drive time took no more than 35 minutes and was another good experience to include in the growing list of positive travel experiences.

Weird barn, rough trainer, extra long commute

I like M so far. She hung out watching the herd go through the initial integration for about 15 minutes even though it was raining. We chatted but also she was keeping a careful eye on everything and was ready to break up any fights that occurred if needed. There were definitely a few scuffles which I was surprised to see. Katai has definitely matured and seems to have decided that she needs to be top mare which is so weird since I’m used to her being bottom of the pack. We eventually decided that they were quiet enough and she gave me a tour and I got to know M and the rules a little more. I like her combination of no nonsense but also no superfluous rules and can tell that it’s all about trust which I like since I know my stuff and hate being micromanaged (looking at you previous barn). I got my stuff unloaded into a beautiful and luxurious feeling open sort of tack locker/compartment in the room for the pasture boarders. I really like the setup! I’m looking forward to eventually moving Katai into a stall but I’m certainly going to be spoiled even with pasture board. The barn is set up really nice and feels cozy and like home again which is so super nice.

I’m planning to go out tonight and do my first lunge or ride with Katai even though it’s a Monday. Worst case scenario we’ll just do ground work and get her used to the new facility, best case scenario we’ll do a nice ride in the indoor. I’d like to do groundwork outside but it’s supposed to be raining out and it’s only in the 50s-60s this week so I’d rather not get that cold and wet. I can’t believe it’s almost blanket season again!

Current barn, defending herself from the other frisky mares :)

In Retrospect

Goals

I’m finally caught up enough to be able to talk about the ride I had Thursday! But first, I need to give a little context. This will be long so I don’t blame you if you skip it!

I think I’ve briefly described my current barn set up but I’m not sure I gave much detail and even I don’t want to go back and look it up so it’s getting explained again. Firstly, current barn is one of the less expensive barns I’ve boarded at especially within the last 4-5 years or so. The care and options available are amazing as is the location but the amenities are pretty scarce. When you first drive up the driveway (which is narrow and hilly – we’ll get to that later) you drive past pastures on either side and then paddocks and a parking space on the left. On the right, just after the house that my trainer, K, lives in is the indoor arena which is behind a 3 sided shelter with a grain room for the pasture and paddock horses. As you continue down the driveway you pass the hay barn on the left, more paddocks on the left and right, and one of the outdoor arenas on the right. Right after that is parking for the barn people and trailer parking on the right for all of the trailers.

All in all, it’s a bit of hike to take Katai from her stall to the indoor and I’ve been so proud of her steadiness as we walk through the dark and various terrain which can be muddy, snowy, slippery, frozen, rutted, etc. and past all of the potentially scary open buildings and farm bunnies which are everywhere and love to jump across the road in front of you in the dark. Secondly, for some reason the majority of the drama happens with the barn boarders and there are 1-2 people who board in the barn who are the cause of most of it (at least from my initial observation).

Also for context I’ve been doing SO WELL the past couple of months with getting to the barn regularly but this past week that’s fallen apart a little. I’m not overly disappointed and even left room for that in my December goals. It’s all because of holiday plans so it will calm down soon but it’s still disappointing. I had big plans to get back to 5-6 days a week the week of Christmas and even went out Christmas Eve morning but then on Christmas when I looked at the forecast they were predicting a crazy chain of winter weather. It was supposed to start with snow Wednesday evening, turn to rain through most of the day Thursday when the temps were going to be in the high 30s and 40s, and then turn back to snow in the later evening. Friday the temperature was supposed to drop below freezing, and then over the next few days we’re supposed to get more snow and then have a couple of extremely cold days with highs in the negatives.

Tack cleaning helper

This meant that my best chance to ride for at least a few days was to go out fairly early on Thursday. I’ve been working really hard over the past few months to not look for excuses or overthink going to the barn so I didn’t even worry much about the weather and just planned to go while I could. Luckily since it’s the week of Christmas work has been really quiet so I was able to get done a bit early. I wasn’t at all worried about the roads since it was so warm and they were absolutely fine. On my driveway up to the barn my car gave me a low traction warning but I figured it was a little slushy and nothing to worry about.

Nice dry pony. You can just see the one little wet spot. Also, ignore my horrible clipping lines.
It's almost time to clip again so I'll have a second chance at it lol.

However, everyone looked shocked and appalled that I was there. It was raining hard (and about 37*) and there was slush in the driveway but otherwise nbd really. Katai had her most waterproof blanket on with the neck rug and other than a small wet spot on either shoulder, where the water must have gotten between the neck rug and blanket, and a wet face she was perfectly dry. I had taken my tack home to clean it and was bringing it back so I was running between the car and the barn carrying armfuls of stuff. While I was carrying my saddle in one of the other boarders (one of the two drama causers who we’ll call NB) was acting especially shocked that I was there, and seemed even more concerned that I was planning to ride. Giving some context to this though, this same person had just the day before “tied” her gelding directly in front of Katai who was in crossties so that he could have touched her shoulder with his back end and then walked away while I was trying to ask her to move him forward a bit. She did eventually move him about 1’ forward but he just pulled loose and then wandered the barn while she followed him around tacking him up while telling him he was naughty. That same day she almost ran into people multiple times in the arena while riding.

You could say that I don’t have high confidence in her instincts.

She was insistent that it was REALLY slippery but all I’d encountered was slushiness which can be slippery but isn’t typically that bad so I let her know that I’d be careful and kept right on with my plans. We chatted a bit about the weather and then NB left and I got Katai tacked up while she ate in her stall. I took my time so that Katai could get plenty to eat and then covered her in a rain sheet since it was still pouring out and headed up to the arena. I was disappointed to find that not only was there a lot of slush and puddles, in the most compacted portions of the driveway there was skating-rink-like ice covered in water. Just about the worst case scenario slippery wise. We managed to avoid most of it through carefully choosing our path and only hit a couple more small slippery bits but in the dark and with how slippery it was we’re lucky that we both didn’t fall down in a pile.

Just her poor little face was wet

Once we got to the arena I walked for a while and then lunged to get some of the excess energy I suspected Katai had out. I was right to do so and probably could have lunged a bit longer but once she was being civil and listening I mounted up. The goal was to work on walk and trot and really getting her round over her back and oozing forward into the contact. Since the canter has been a point of contention recently I didn’t even want to go there that night. The only problem is that we’ve been building strength and then I took time off. That meant that I have a strong, capable pony with lots of pent up energy. We started at the trot and she was clearly really trying to keep a lid on it and listen but had energy bursting out everywhere. We settled at first for a VERY forward, huge trot and my focus was just keeping the strides slow and pushing vs. being quick. That quickly devolved into a tense running pony though and then she transitioned to canter and quickly used that as an excuse to let out an upset buck and slam to a stop. This time I just sat there for a while until she let out a big breath and then took her back into a trot.

I realized quickly that we were just going to need to canter to help Katai find her hamsters so when she nicely transitioned, going to the right, again I just let her go. I wasn’t trying to tire her out or let her just canter around and wear herself out. I was really working on getting her bent around my inside leg, cantering slowly and politely, and doing as many different things in canter as we can right now which isn’t many. She was actually really, really, really good and listening. She was struggling to bend to the right but wasn’t fighting me on it, she just was struggling a bit. After a lot of canter she was finally breathing evenly and really listening so we went down to trot, crossed the arena, changed the bend, and I cued for a canter. She slammed into the transition so I brought her back and did it again and she transitioned so nice! She was already clearly tired and the left lead is her strong lead so we didn’t do nearly as much in that direction. She dropped to trot a couple of times so we got some more practice at the transition and we ended on a great note.

I hopped right off since we had clearly accomplished a lot and were both feeling good about things. Plus, I was conscious of the potential for the weather to get worse and there wasn’t anyone else around so I didn’t want to push things too far. We walked for a while and I stuffed her full of treats and eventually I tossed her rain sheet on again and we headed out.

I got the Eskadron bandage liners from my mom for
Christmas but she got a size too big so Katai is looking very european.

It was immediately a much more hairy trip and not long after we hit the driveway Katai ended up right in the middle of the iciest part of the road. It was dark out and I didn’t dare move from where I was. Luckily I had her on the lunge line so I just gave her all the space she needed and she skittered her way back to good footing. I was so relieved and so glad that she’s a sure footed pony but also felt really bad. I stuffed her full of more treats and then luckily we had a much less exciting walk the rest of the way to the barn.

I untacked her in her stall, groomed, and got things put away fairly quickly since I was getting more concerned about navigating the driveway in my tiny car. Once Katai was all tucked in with a fresh, warm, waterproof blanket and some extra alfalfa pellets I headed out to my car.

Both of us being derps after a great ride

With some momentum I made it up the first hill to the first parking area but the scariest part was still coming up. There is a fairly steep hill down on the way back out to the road and now I knew that it was glare ice. The driveway drops down steeply on either side so if I misjudged I’d end up in the ditch. I had planned to just coast straight down and not touch the brake or steering wheel unless I needed to. The only problem is that my SmartCar has the engine in the back so it’s heavier back there and as soon as I hit the ice the back of my car started to come around trying to beat the front down the hill. Luckily with this many years driving in icy conditions I reacted quickly and got it straightened out, kept the momentum up the next hill and out onto the quiet road. I took a bit of a chance and also kept my momentum out onto the slightly busier road since otherwise I likely would have drifted into a ditch and then the rest of the way was on busy roads that had been cleared of snow so were just wet.

In retrospect I maybe shouldn’t have chanced it but I’m so proud of myself that I just went and did the thing and didn’t overthink it. I guess I could use this as a lesson to listen to my fellow boarders and next time I may take it more seriously despite the general lack of trust I have in their horse keeping instincts. I’m also so proud of how well the ride ended up going especially with the canter that I got and the work that we did plus the strength that Katai is showing currently is also really encouraging and I can’t wait for this winter storm to be over so that I can get back to it!

You Spin Me Right Round Baby

Shit is getting real here at the barn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, not that kind of shit.

Crazy barn drama type of shit. Last night I went to the barn just for a normal ride. I went through my normal routine which includes being very careful to follow all the rules of the barn. I swept up after myself, turned off lights, cleaned up poop, etc. I got into the arena for a ride and had a wonderful and productive ride for about 25 minutes and then, I still think just to mess with me, the barn owner decided to start fixing something.

At 8:15 at night.

I mean it’s his barn, he can work on it whenever he wants. But generally that means just briefly checking in with anyone at the barn to make sure that you aren’t causing a dangerous situation before you start some construction project. Thanks to a complete lack of communication my pony tried to kill both of us by getting so completely wound up that she spun circles around me for about 20 minutes. She was so scared that even her eyes were sweating and this is a pony that is nearly bomb proof. The weather is chilly and all the horses are on edge but that is just so much more of a reason to briefly check in with the person that is paying to ride at your barn before you start some noisy project. If he had told me before he started causing a racket I would have just dismounted and left so that I didn’t put any of us in that situation but instead he ended up prolonging my ride by about half an hour which meant that I was there after barn close. That meant that he tossed all my stuff, including my phone and jacket, off to one side in the barn isle and shut the lights off on me.

All I could think is where am I right now, preschool? The Twilight Zone?

People just don’t behave like this in real life. This is reality show style drama and that’s coming from someone who has worked in HR for the last 5ish years and has seen some crazy drama.

After I got Katai to stop spinning and lower her head a little I climbed back on so that she wouldn’t be dwelling on that scariness over her day off. I got a nice walk and trot in each direction and then climbed off.

After the ride I went out and got her groomed up and swept all the dirt into a pile again but then she decided she’d had it and wasn’t standing in cross ties anymore so I removed both of us before something dangerous happened and walked her up to her pasture. It was when I got back that the lights were off and all my stuff was piled to the side of the isle and the pile I had left had been swept up. At first I wondered if I’d left something in front of a door or something so he’d had to move it but no, it was just passive aggressively moved. I turned the lights back on, put my stuff away and then grabbed some miscellaneous items that I normally keep at the barn so that I can get that stuff back home and organized before my move. I felt guilty for leaving the pile of dirt but was absolutely going to pick it up as soon as I got back and it would never have even been left if the owner had been just a little bit conscientious since then my pony wouldn’t have been so wound up that I had to leave it like that.

Typing this up is still making me upset enough that I’m shaking and again, this is coming from someone that deals with a lot of conflict. I just don’t want to deal with conflict at the barn since that’s my happy place. I have no ill will towards the owners or the barn or the people that I’ve enjoyed spending time with over the last few months. I was going to continue to highly recommend this barn to people but after this behavior over the last couple weeks I just can’t in good conscious recommend that anyone board at this loony bin which is unfortunate since it is a truly beautiful facility and there are some great people boarding there. I’ve been trying to just keep a low profile since I was aware that this type of drama was going to occur during my last few days but now I’m really going to need to be extra cautious. Unfortunately looks like I’m not going to be able to move this weekend and since they are demanding to be on the property when I leave (drama with the person who’s picking me up who apparently "said bad things" about the owner’s wife) I’m limited to which days I can get out of there. Luckily I do have a trailer I can borrow just in case I can’t get schedules to work out but since it’s all the way across town I’d rather try this avenue first.

All The Dramas

Thankfully I’ve not yet been involved in the barn drama partially, probably, because since I work in HR I’m pretty adept at conflict management/avoidance but also because I’ve been nothing but pleasant and complementary to the owners of the facility. Unfortunately it seems to be one of those cases where if you disagree you become the enemy and I’ve got very little tolerance for that.

 

If you remember I posted a while ago about how the owners and kicked a couple of people out and I was happy that they were being proactive about it. At that point I believe the grand total of people they had kicked out was three but I found out later that they’d kicked out two before I ever got there. Since I understood the reasoning and knew that two of the people were actually endangering other boarders and their horses I wasn’t concerned and as I said then, I was actually pleased that they were taking a tough stance on that sort of behavior. After that though they’ve kicked out two additional boarders through a whole host of drama including the hay debate.

 

Now I understand as well as anyone else that the barn needs to be operated like a business. They have to make sure that they know how much hay and grain is going out so they can account for that in their budget and if someone takes hay or grain without asking it’s stealing. However, in my mind if you work something out with the owners that while your horse is offsite at a show you can take the exact same amount of hay and grain that they would have been fed at the barn that should be ok! They are still probably saving bedding and labor of looking after your horse during that time so they should be ok with it. However, at this barn the owners got into a huge fight with a boarder that wanted to do just that and told her that she could purchase a bale of hay from them for $10 (our hay is normally between $5-$7 per bale). This wasn’t me, I wish I were showing but I’m not, but honestly I probably would have just bought the hay since in the grand scheme of things $10 isn’t that bad. It’s just left me with a really bad taste in my mouth that they treated someone who was asking for something so reasonable so badly. I can even see if to keep things neat they wanted her to buy a bale rather than take hay, which might be tough to keep track of, but charge a reduced rate since that horse would have eaten almost that much as part of regular board. Or charge reduced board that month since the horse isn’t staying at the facility for three days. Any of these things would make sense or at least having an adult conversation about it but instead everything just blew up and the boarder left over it. I honestly can’t say I blame her.

 

I’ve been waffling over a few things including the fact that other than two other people the barn is quickly becoming home to only western pleasure horses and the fact that the owners are adding all these rules that aren’t in the contract I signed. Just for an idea, because I think this type of thing is interesting, I live in an area that charges about $450-$1000 for stall board and $200-$350 for pasture board. At J’s place I paid $300 for pasture board which included hay overnight when horses were brought into a dry lot, grain twice per day, and someone who put on and took off Katai’s grazing muzzle every day (and the pastures were amazing and well-kept with almost no weeds). At this barn I pay $325 for pasture board with no hands on care, no grain, and hay just during the winter. I would be paying $650 for stall board which does include blanketing and grain twice per day as well as daily hand walking to semi private pens and full day turnout. However, it seems that amount does not pay for poop pick up on the way to and from the pastures. I’m the first one to clean up poop anywhere in the barn or arena both indoor and outdoor but when the walk from the pasture to the barn is almost a mile down a driveway and my horse poops in the grass half way there I just don’t know that I should feel like I should be required to go pick it up while she stands in cross ties. What are your opinions? Am I being a spoiled brat that it’s bothering me? Between that, the hay debate, some of the complaints I’ve heard from other boarders and the fact that I wouldn’t trust the barn manager to notice if my horse were injured (a pasture horse is currently in surgery that had a two inch diameter and four inch long branch lodged about three inches in right above his right eye. Another boarder noticed when she brought her horse in that it had happened and they could tell it had been several hours and they had to call the barn manager who lives on site and tell her) I’ve been seriously thinking about moving Katai again.

 

Trust me, it’s the last thing I wanted to be considering at this point :-( I hate moving barns anyway and rebuilding all these friendships and I’m sure Katai would really like to not have to move and adjust again. There are some great people at this barn it just seems like I only see them about once a month. I honestly was thinking I’d just stay where I am but then I heard from a friend that the manager of a nearby barn that is dearly loved by the local dressage community was opening up a second barn. This is new barn is actually a location I’d toured when I was going to leave J’s initially but I didn’t like that manager who did really odd things and was known locally for being flaky when it came to things like turning horses out. Now that this new woman is taking over that facility I’d jump at the chance to board there. 

 

When I went to tour the barn they were having a spa day and they welcomed me in with open arms and a glass of wine (seriously, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven) and I got a tour of the new and improved facility. There is still some work to do before it is ready but they’re aiming to have it ready in about two weeks and it already looks amazing. The arena has been completely redone and she’s been working on footing daily. The pens are semi private, full day turnout, nice large stalls, and trails on the property that aren’t overwhelmed with bicycles, joggers, rollerblades, and poorly behaved dogs. It sounds like L will be teaching there probably but even if not, there are a couple of other dressage instructors. Plus it will be a truly mixed barn with other people who ride various forms of English (hunter, jumper, dressage, eventing, etc.), some people who drive their horses, and some western people. Plus they have an area for dogs to hang out on the property so that I can actually bring my puppy while I ride and he wouldn’t have to go back into his kennel :-)

 

If you can’t tell from the above I’m already fairly convinced but what do all of you think? What would you do in this situation? The care at the current barn is far from bad and actually Katai has been doing well. I’ve got friends there and so far have been getting along great with the owners. Is it worth the risk to move again in your opinion even with some of the big concerns I have about the current barn or would you just go ahead and move to the new barn with the manager/owner that so many people have said great things about?

I promise there will be more Katai centered posts soon!