Dancing in the Rain

I have one quote at my work desk that says “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Unknown

This has felt like it’s embodied what’s going on with my life over the past year and thankfully I have been learning how to dance in the rain. 0/10 do not recommend all of the life changing things happening at once (even if they’re positive) but I am so so so lucky to have so many amazing things going on in my life.

Not a great photo but I went to a helmet trade in day and finally got a long oval 1K in rose gold.
I <3 it

The new job is awesome, I’m really enjoying being here. It has been a little tough to face the change in work, even though other change has quieted down. I enjoy learning and taking on new things but when everything in my life feels new and I have more questions than answers it’s tough to hold on to my self-confidence.

The house savings is also going well. We’re still on track to be able to afford the friend’s house next spring/summer and we’re both cautiously optimistic and starting to plan for being there next year. I’m continuing to really stick to my budget and money things feel better than ever. Of course getting a job where I’m making more certainly helps but even with that I haven’t splurged or really changed my spending habits and almost all of the additional money is going towards the house.

Other things in my life have been more stable and things with me and my bf continue to be awesome. He’s an amazing person and so supportive of me including challenging me when he thinks he should which I SO appreciate. The most recent thing has been with my current barn. I’ve felt like I’m doing ok but I must be complaining/expressing more than I thought because he started to slowly and gently push me to look at other options. What was in my mind was to wait until we have the house and then move Katai but when I went to a friend’s barn and spoke positively about it he asked about it and then when I actually started to consider moving there he encouraged me to at least really consider it. Sure enough I’m moving and I’m so thrilled and can’t wait.

Doing DnD prep at the cabin a few weeks back.

The new barn is heated and has a heated indoor connected to the barn. Unfortunately I can’t take on any additional cost right now so while the stalls in that barn are amazingly affordable and beautiful (I’m seriously considering just staying here and trailering to the waitlist barn for lessons) I needed to move to pasture for now. I’ll be saving a small amount of money a month but will have to figure out how to get Katai her supplements on a regular basis. Since we’re moving there early September the pastures shouldn’t be overly rich so that will be ok diet wise. Then by next summer when the grass is starting to come up my hope is to move her into a stall. If for some reason I can’t get her a stall because of budget things she’ll just get a grazing muzzle until I can.

Living by this recently

After a few recent “incidents” at the current barn that left me fuming (which is unusual for me) it’s definitely time to leave. I’m also really glad that I’ll have heat this winter since I feel like I especially struggled with not being able to ride consistently during the winter because of the cold this past year. The current barn is just no longer my sanctuary and looking at moving has made me realize how long I’ve felt like I’m walking on egg shells there. At all of my past barns I’ve been excited when I’ve seen other vehicles in the parking lot and know that there’s someone else to ride with. At this barn if there’s a car in the parking lot I start to feel anxious and consider just leaving and coming back another day. That’s not ok.

What I know about the new barn:
-Katai will be on pasture board with other mares
-They do not feed supplements to pasture horses so I’ll have to figure that out. I think I’ll be ok as long as I can go out 5 days a week but will be figuring out a backup plan if I can’t or if I’m out of town or something.
-The barn that I’ll have my tack and equipment in and where I’ll groom and tack up is heated and connected to the heated indoor
-The barn is adorable and has several stalls. It’s fairly small and really nice. My hope is to get a stall in this barn next year.
-The indoor is fairly small but bigger than what I have now (I think it is at the very least wider but it’s tough to tell without measuring it) at around 60-130 feet so just under regulation small dressage size. It sounds like the footing is slightly deep but based on what I saw I wasn’t worried about it
-There is a much larger outdoor that’s in an awesome and beautiful location. Apparently the footing there is even nicer than the indoor.
-L (the trainer I worked with before Jane) teaches my friend at this barn so will be available for lessons. With my current budget and how out of shape Katai and I are I likely won’t take many lessons at first but it will be AWESOME to have a trainer again.
-My awesome friend boards here (of course since that’s how I found it ) and is the one who took the really nice pictures of Katai and me at the shows we’ve attended. She also rides dressage, takes lessons from L, and shows occasionally. Plus she trail rides a ton so will be a good trail buddy.
-The barn is directly across from a large park system with lots of horse trails so I’ll have trails very available to me. I’m looking forward to getting Katai more exposure in that environment

Mental

Very first time on her back!

I've had a lot going on lately and have still been working a lot to try to figure out why I've lost my motivation and some of the magic of riding and dressage that I was feeling for so long.

A few things have come up that I just wanted to document here for my future self.

First, I was feeling really burnt out after having weekly lessons. I realize that doing that is the quickest and best way to improve but while I very much want to do my best, having such regular lessons, especially as more started to happen in life, was REALLY tough.

Way less inverted

My preference would be monthly lessons or lessons/clinics as needed vs. always needing to feel ready for a lesson each week. Katai also was feeling burnt out and I think a bit body sore on that schedule. She's been WAY more relaxed since we moved to the barn we're at now and all of the behavioral things we'd been dealing with are gone. As I slowly get her stronger and back into more work I'll be curious if they come back but I kind of suspect they won't since I still won't be putting as much pressure on both of us.

Doing this right now has allowed me to feel like I can take a breath and do things like trail ride, do more spa days, lunge, and find a schedule that works for both of us. It does mean that I've been at the barn less but for the past few weeks I've been out there 3-4 days per week which isn't bad by any means.

Such a baby, so tight, so inverted but still a cool picture

Second, my amazing bf and I were talking about how I feel like there's something weird going on this year where time has flown by and I feel like nothing happened. He was quiet for a minute and then very insightfully asked if I thought it was because I was focusing on too many things and spinning my wheels. I was like yes, that is exactly what's been going on but I hadn't realized it until he said something.

With him in my life I've had so many more things going on, meeting more people, and more hobbies vs. just watching Netflix and riding. It's wonderful but also a little overwhelming. I'm trying to boil it down a bit and do those things but not focus on them so much and not spend some much time worrying about things. Instead I've been just going to the barn on a regular schedule and learning to say no to social engagements.

So much more grown up :)

Third, I feel like I've been waiting on a lot this year. I have a few big things on the horizon that are pretty life changing. One of those is that I started interviewing and looking for a new job in January this year. While I started out looking really casually I got close to an offer a couple of times (second in line actually twice for jobs I really wanted) which was tough. It's not that I'm unhappy in my job, just that I'm ready to move on, increase my salary, and have more growth opportunities. After missing out on those two jobs I started looking more seriously and that's been unfortunately taking a lot of my time and energy. It means good things for riding and horse things though since part of the barrier I've been facing recently with this is budget related.

Can't Find My Hamsters

Last week was my first week at my new job and with the mental workout that entails I just feel like I don’t have a brain. It’s not that my new job is especially stressful, in fact I’d say it’s way less stressful than my previous job, its more that between figuring out the social and political interactions and trying to cram as much new knowledge in my brain as possible my hamsters have left the building.

I’ve also added a 1.5 hour commute each way and since I was close enough to walk to work before this is a HUGE change for me. It’s not that I haven’t driven long distances all of my life but that change on top of all of the other changes that come with a new job mean that I had a stressful week. By the time I’ve been getting home in the evening I’m not good for much so I’ve been packing since that doesn’t take any real mental capacity. Between packing and taking the puppy out for walks my evenings have been full and then I crawl into bed early so that I can get to work early enough the next day.

 

None of this is meant to sound like I’m complaining since I am so, so, so, so, so thankful that I have this new job! Plus, I was able to find a great place to live that will only be about ten minutes from work! Short commutes for the win  :-) This does, however, mean that I’ll have a longer drive to the barn. I was trying to split the difference but of course finding a place in my budget, right in between work and my pony, in a good neighborhood, with the amenities that I was looking for would be like winning the lottery and I’d rather be closer to work than closer to the barn especially with all the car problems I’ve been having lately.

 

Then, after what felt like a long (but wonderful :-) ) week I was looking forward to a quiet weekend. On Saturday I ran some errands and did some shopping for clothes since I went from having a dress code that required dress clothes to working at a place that doesn’t even have a dress code where everyone wears jeans. I also stopped at the barn and rode but Katai was fairly tender after her hoof trim on Friday. She’s been tender after trims lately more that I would like but I’m thinking that a large part of it is that all the rain we’ve been having has kept her hooves soft. Plus, as she gets trimmed by someone who actually knows what they are doing, her hooves are going through a lot of changes. They are looking amazing but still have a ways to go. She had SUCH contracted heels and icky frogs that often were thrushy. Now her heels are slowly widening and her frogs are getting stronger but that doesn’t happen overnight. I’m going to guess that by the beginning of next year she will have almost normal feet but until then she’s going to need some continuing babying. I have tried boots but with the shape and size of her feet I haven’t been able to successfully keep anything on her. I can get Easyboots that are small enough but they won’t stay on and I tried Cavallo boots but they just don’t come small enough.

 

Then on Sunday I went to start my car to go to the barn to work in the morning and it wouldn’t start. It’s doing exactly the same thing it was doing the week prior and for a minute I thought I was going to lose it. I hate that I’ve been flaky recently due to my car and the added stress of not even knowing how I was going to get to my brand new job this week was just a lot to handle at 6:30 in the morning on a weekend. I was able to come up with a plan that involved borrowing my sister’s car but since she lives over 2 hours away that ate up the rest of my day and I didn’t get to even see my pony. Plus, one of my previous barn friends was going to check out my current barn to see if she would like to move there and I was going to go through the tour with her. I was really disappointed to have to cancel on her as well. I dislike machinery of any kind anyway and then when they make my life miserable like my car has been it makes me really sad.

 

Fingers crossed that it will get fixed this week and that my life can get back to normal. Only two weeks till I officially live in the city!

Stranded

My week started out really well last Saturday with a conditioning ride! I've been wanting to start doing some canter sets but I hadn't been able to find a good, safe place to do it. Luckily I talked with another boarder who had just been out doing canter sets and gave me a great place to do it. There's actually a good sort of grass track around the private paddocks that has safe footing and isn't too far away from the barn.

Unfortunately there are going to be lots of selfies for the next couple of weeks since the other camera on my iPhone won't focus and I don't know when I'll have a chance to bring it in to be fixed.

Katai did really really well. She's one of those rare horses that's forward and able to take off at a gallop and yet when I ask her to slow down she'll walk on the buckle even towards home. I had a great time and am going to try to do at least one conditioning ride every week as well as adding more trail rides since I know we both need to get out of the arena more.

Then, on Sunday, I had a great low key ride in the outdoor arena.

Monday started my last week at this job and things were going well at work and home until on Wednesday I found out that my car wouldn't start. Luckily I can walk to work so I walked in that morning and my boyfriend came up here to work on it that evening. We replaced the starter but it still wouldn't work so on Thursday I bit the bullet and had it towed to a shop. On Thursday it was out of commission all day and I was starting to think that I better find back up for my first day at my new job on Friday. Luckily it was fixed by Friday but not until the evening. However, that meant that I didn't get out to ride Monday -Thursday :-(

Recently between my schedule and unexpected things like my car it's like pulling teeth to get to the barn even twice during the week and with the new job and figuring out my schedule I doubt it will be easy this week.

Today I had another lesson and it was great! I lucked out and she was very, very good despite only having been ridden once in the six days prior. I've got my fingers crossed that nothing goes south this week and that despite adding two hours every day onto my commute to work I'll be able to get a couple rides in.

Updates!

So much has been going on in my life and I've been really bad about blogging so I think it's time to catch everyone up!

I think first and foremost that I need to talk about my job offer :-) I've been wanting to relocate to the twin cities for the last six years and I finally got not just any job there but the perfect job for me. I work in HR and this is an HR position working for a company smack in the middle of the twin cities that helps people with a specific health issue. I not only get to work for a wonderful company in the area I want but it's a company that helps people which is a really wonderful feeling.

         Me and one of my little sisters :)

My first day is the 13th which is only about a week away now. I just can't believe that I'm finally there! I will be relocating from northern WI but I have not found an apartment yet. Thankfully I can commute as needed but of course since I've wanted to be down there for so long I'm hoping to find something sooner rather than later. Of course between trying to close everything out at my current job, looking for apartment, trying to get a reasonable amount time at the barn, and spending time with my little puppy I've been a bit overwhelmed. It doesn't help that I don't know where home will be in a few months and that makes me feel on edge. I actually don't mind moving but I've moved enough in the last few years and I'm ready to settle in some place.

In other news Wedge is doing really well! He's been learning all kinds of useful doggy skills like walking nicely on a leash, how to go on a proper hike, what horses are (and that barking at them is very very bad), how to meet other dogs nicely, dog parks, etc. I think I've been wearing the little man out and because of that he's been the perfect dog :) I usually bring him with me to the barn as long as the weather is mild and he hangs out while I ride. I figure at least that way he's not still in his kennel at home. 

Then, back to the main topic of this blog, Katai has been great. She's been getting stronger and more athletic so when I don't ride consistently she's a handful but that's on me, not her, and she hasn't done anything really naughty. She just has lots of energy to burn off which means I've had to work with L to develop my skills on how to handle that. I've been back to about three rides per week and honestly that's just not enough for her. I really need to ride 4-5 times per week and hopefully this next week I can do just that. 

I'm continuing to adore my saddle especially as I get more used to it and it starts to break in a bit. The leather is so soft that it hasn't needed much breaking in but like any new saddle it's just not going to be completely comfy until it's been ridden in for awhile. I'm also still adjusting to how I need to sit and carry myself since it just seats me differently (read better). I think Katai is loving it as well but since she hasn't been getting supplements as regularily she has been a bit tight through the back and before I can determine that it's the saddle or not I need to get her back on her supplements and then if she's still a bit tight I'm going to have a saddle fitter out. To my eye, and everything I know about saddle fit, it's a WAY better fit than the previous saddle but ultimately it's up to Katai. 

The only other thing I can think of that could be bothering her is that my previous TSF girth doesn't reach the shorter billets on this saddle so I ordered a longer one (which will be here on Monday!) but it looks like my back up girth is maybe pulling this saddle forward onto her withers more. I LOVE my TSF and if anyone is looking for an 18" in brown I'm probably going to be rehoming my old one.

       My previous saddle also needs a new home.

The other big update is that I'm moving Katai to a stall! I've just been waiting for a little more income and then it's been my plan to get her in a stall :) I'm so, so thrilled that it's finally here. She'll be making the move in September and will get back to regular supplementation (I have to feed it to her now so she only gets her grain when I'm there). She'll also be on a diet that has less sugar and I'll be able to get rid of her mask. Even though it's pretty cute on her ;)

I'm going to try to be a better blogger and at least blog a couple times a week but no promises until I find a new place to live.

Bad Blogger and End of March Review

I've been such a bad blogger recently! It is for a good reason though :-) 

One of my main goals for this year, that is both horses related and not, is to get a new job. I've wanted to live in a city for a long, long time and moving to the nearby metro area would mean that I will be much closer to the barn plus I should be able to increase my salary which would mean more ability to show and even small possibility that I could afford a horse trailer!

The reason that I've been quiet is that I've been interviewing both over the phone and in person. I've also been spending time each evening applying for positions which take away a good part of my evenings and it feels like when I'm not doing that I'm riding :-)

Chiro last Friday went really, really well. Katai was a little sweetheart and behaved really well even though I was sort of waiting for her to be a little brat. She only really needed to be adjusted in two or three places and even better, the chiro said her back felt AMAZING! She said she felt strong but soft and she complemented me on how I've been working her. I was really happy because I'm really conscious that not everyone rides smaller horses and want to make sure that my choice isn't negatively effecting my pony. This tells me that at least for now it is not.

I've only had one ride since then and she was good but slightly naughty, probably since she hadn't been ridden in a few days. Then I meant to ride tonight but for some reason it started snowing heavily so I wrote it off since it's a long drive :-(

So, now onto how our goals are going!

In Process Goals for Katai:

1. Increase fitness/strength/flexibility

 

- get chiropractic done at least three times in 2015 – Scheduling one for April 3rd

- get at least three massages in 2015

- start serious fitness training as soon as it's not slippery out to include canter sets

- cross train - add cavaletti by February and small jumps by the end of summer

- add more structured lunging - at least 3-4 times per month

2. Show Pony

- practice with show environments by trailering off property at least five times this year

- show in three dressage schooling shows with at least one at training level

- ride in one two clinics - can be any discipline

- perfect standing tied to the trailer

3. Dressage Skillz

- nicer canter transitions (no more ear pinning and less choppy trotting) by the end of March

- better bend at all gaits to the left

- more understanding of whip cues - not or ignore - by the middle of the year

 

- understand all three intro tests by the end of April

- begin trying or hoof at training level tests by the end of May

4. Miscellaneous  

- stay still for mounting – This has actually gone downhill

- gain trail riding experience both by ourselves and with others - get outside and ride trails at least 3-4 times per month

In Process Goals for Me:

1. Increase fitness/strength/flexibility

- find a good yoga class and go at least twice per month

- get regular massages to help with physical things

- run in at least one 5K by the end of April (providing I can find one and the weather isn't too horrible), one 10K by the end of June, and Ragnar (total of about 13 miles) again in the late summer

- lose 15 - 20 more pounds

2. Riding Goals

- learn to weight each seat bone as needed - default to even (I sit much more on the right)

- take regular lessons - at least once per month

- learn to keep my lower leg back on a regular basis

- practice a more proper arm position

- regain jumping skills :-)

- gain miles in the saddle

- ride different horses

3. Show Human

- put together at least one set of show clothes (schooling show appropriate)

- determine which schooling shows to attend and get signed up

- memorize intro tests by the end of May

- find transportation to shows

4. Miscellaneous 

- get a new job and move to a metro location (more on this in a future post)

- save up and purchase a saddle that fits both of us better – Picked one out!!

- Order the saddle by the end of June

- take more and better pictures and videos

- read and review a horse book every month – February Success!

- do a better job of journaling my riding in my blog

- make good turnout a habit (pretend I'm getting ready to ride for George Morris everyday lol)

I'm going to follow up on goals at the end of every month and be ready to adjust at that point, either add more or take some away.

Completed Goals

- continue with clipper desensitization

- perfect trailer loading – On this last barn move she hopped right in despite the wind blowing and the trailer being completely different than she's ever ridden in so I'm pretty confident in her trailering skills.

- get used to riding around other horses and busy warm up areas – Still get a little nervous when a horse goes past quickly but really does pretty well.

- listen to outside leg cues – 90% there in February

- get a halt that regularly lasts at least 20 seconds by the end of February

- find someone to take regular lessons with by the end of February

- renew my subscription to Dressage Today and read every article –Subscribed but haven't received any yet

- update the name of this blog (I promise it will be the last time)

2015 Goals - Here We Go!

Some of these goals or ideas have been floating around in my head for so long that it feels amazing to finally be sharing them. Last year I didn't really have any official goals and things were so up and down with Katai that I didn't feel like I could make any. First there was the fact that at this point last year she was so green that we were really just trotting (and that wasn't pretty) and walking and I had no real steering most of the time. Then there was the fact that I don't think I really felt like she was mine, I hadn't really committed to her which made it tough to make any plans. Plus I was at a tiny barn with no way to really take lessons or get any help with anything when I felt stuck.

This year is already starting off way different and I have to admit that I am extremely excited about what 2015 will bring in both my horsie life and my personal/professional life but enough blabbing, time to get on with it!

Goals for Katai:

1. Increase fitness/strength/flexibility

 

- get chiropractic done at least three times in 2015

- get at least three massages in 2015

- start serious fitness training as soon as it's not slippery out to include canter sets

- cross train - add cavaletti by February and small jumps by the end of summer

- add more structured lunging - at least 3-4 times per month

2. Show Pony

- practice with show environments by trailering off property at least five times this year

- show in three dressage schooling shows with at least one at training level

- continue with clipper desensitization

- perfect trailer loading

- ride in one clinic - can be any discipline

- perfect standing tied to the trailer

- get used to riding around other horses and busy warm up areas

3. Dressage Skillz

- nicer canter transitions (no more ear pinz and less choppy trotting) by the end of March

- better bend at all gaits to the left

- more understanding of whip cues - not over react or ignore - by the middle of the year

- listen to outside leg cues

- get a halt that regularily lasts at least 20 seconds by the end of February

- understand all three intro tests by the end of April

- begin trying or hoof at training level tests by the end of May

4. Miscellaneous  

- stay still for mounting

- gain trail riding experience both by ourselves and with others - get outside and ride trails at least 3-4 times per month

Goals for Me:

1. Increase fitness/strength/flexibility

- find a good yoga class and go at least twice per month

- get regular massages to help with physical things

- run in at least one 5K by the end of April (providing I can find one and the weather isn't too horrible), one 10K by the end of June, and Ragnar (total of about 13 miles) again in the late summer

- lose 15 - 20 more pounds

2. Riding Goals

- learn to weight each seatbone as needed - default to even (I sit much more on the right)

- find someone to take regular lessons with by the end of February

- take regular lessons - at least once per month

- learn to keep my lower leg back on a regular basis

- practice a more proper arm position

- regain jumping skills :-)

- gain miles in the saddle

- ride different horses

- renew my subscription to Dressage Today and read every article 

3. Show Human

- put together at least one set of show clothes (schooling show appropriate) including a pair of tall boots

- determine which schooling shows to attend and get signed up

- memorize intro tests by the end of May

- find transportation to shows

4. Miscellaneous 

- get a new job and move to a metro location (more on this in a future post)

- save up and purchase a saddle that fits both of us better

- take more and better pictures and videos

- read and review a horse book every month

- do a better job of journaling my riding in my blog

- make good turnout a habit (pretend I'm getting ready to ride for George Morris everyday lol)

- update the name of this blog (I promise it will be the last time)

I'm going to follow up on goals at the end of every month and be ready to adjust at that point, either add more or take some away.