2019 Recap

Merry Christmas Eve! There are more pony updates on the way, including a really unexpected and amazing surprise, but I wanted to get this post done first.

I’m going to keep this pretty short partially just because I don’t have a ton of content. I actually thought about just skipping it but honestly, since this is meant to be a journal I think that looking back and reviewing the entire year is actually really helpful for me so here goes.

January Pony Face

January:
I was so excited to be leaving 2018 behind that I started 2019 strong with 9 posts which included sharing my awesome Christmas hauls and lots of goal setting. I’m not quite sure how I posted that much because what I remember about January was that I was sick for at least 3 weeks… I also found out that my trainer, K, was leaving us for the East coast which sucked and immediately threw my plans for the year into a tailspin.

One of the few photos I took in February, seems appropriate

February:
The universe was definitely getting to me and I remember getting sick again. It was also horrendously cold and I didn’t have a heated barn. I didn’t actually post at all this month, one of the few months in the entire life of this blog where I didn’t post.

Tough to believe that it was sunny and decent outside in March! Only a few more months

March:
I bounced back with 5 posts and was doing a lot of processing things with mindset, goals, and my mental health. Some of that showed up on the blog and some didn’t but it definitely had already started to be a big part of my year.

This definitely needed to be a Jen and Connor picture

April:
I only had 3 posts in April but it was definitely one of the best months riding wise. The weather was starting to really improve and I wrote about two “clinics” that I had a chance to ride in. Those were awesome and really set the tone for all of the work I did this year with Katai on relaxation. Back when I was actually able to ride, we were making leaps and bounds of progress on this topic. In addition, my boyfriend and I went to IN to see Jen from CobJockey and got to meet her significant other as well. It was an AWESOME trip where I got to ride Connor and see Jen’s barn which is gorgeous. It really felt like my year was starting to look up horse wise!

Don't remind me of the time when she was missing half her mane :/

May:
In May I posted 4 times and shared my haul from the MN horse expo (which was AMAZING), reviewed some products, and complained about a bad dental experience.

Delicious vegan foods I made myself

June:
I only posted twice in June and not much happened. Mostly I shared more about mindset things and answered a blog hop/questionnaire thing.

One of my favorite pictures of Katai this year

July:
Despite only posting three times, things really started to happen for me in June. If nothing else, 2019 has been the year of focusing on other big personal things and June was really the point where everything started to fall into place. In one enormous post I wrote about getting my new job (which I’m still loving by the way), finding out that we were buying a house, and plans to move my pony. I didn’t know where or when I was moving my pony at that point and neither barn I talked about ended up working out but I had outlined that I was on a waitlist and had determined that it was a goal to move in 2019.

August:
In continuing the theme of not posting much I posted three times in August. The main post in August was that I had found a place to move Katai! Thanks to a friend I had discovered a third option and decided to make the move. I also posted a little about the routine I was working on at that time.

One of, what feels like, very few rides in our new arena so far

September:
September was my second highest posting month thus far with 7 posts. The routine I had set for myself was really helping with motivation and because I was at the barn regularly I had more content. Funny how that works :) The biggest thing that happened was definitely moving to my current barn.

Throughout the rest of the month I really grew to love the social environment at the barn and it continues to be the best barn culture of any barn I’ve boarded at.

Such a regal and gorgeous girl <3

October:
I only posted twice this month because despite all of the lovely things at the new barn and me finally feeling incredibly motivated Katai started having all sorts of little health things cropping up. These prevented me from doing much riding at all in October but I did really buckle down, work hard, and start making progress on treating her for ulcers, thrush, and sensitive feets.

November:
I bounced back and posted 5 times but it was for the bad reason that Katai went horribly lame. Luckily it all turned out to be an abscess but that was after two vet visits, lots of bute, a steroid shot, and lots of paddock rest. It will take a little while for my check book to recover but I’m so so so glad it turned out ok. I remain proud of myself that throughout most of October and November I was at the barn almost every single day. That was a huge accomplishment and really showed me what I’m capable of.

Rather than a picture of a swollen pony leg, how about a picture of Moshy enjoying Lion King :)

December:
With this post I’m at only 5 posts so far for December but that already means that I posted more in 2019 than 2018 which feels like an accomplishment even if I’m still at half of what I was posting previously. I’m honestly really glad to be leaving 2019 behind because even though I accomplished some great things it still feels like I worked excessively hard for everything I did accomplish. Here’s to hoping that all of that work continues to pay dividends and that 2020 is a bright, shining, year of progress!

Mia, one of Katai's buddies

Here We Come 2019

This picture again because we're so cute :)

I realize that the start of the year is completely arbitrary for a new start but like many others I enjoy the perspective of looking ahead to the next year and making plans and goals. In fact, while it never was before New Years has become my favorite holiday for just that reason.

After spending the end of 2018 in potato recovery mode I'm feeling so refreshed (even with the cold) and ready to really knock 2019 out of the park. I'm going to do this similar to last year and share my big picture goals for the year and then each month I'll post smaller goals that are broken out of the big year goals. To leave myself a little wiggle room, if posting isn't happening as much as I'd like I may change that to quarterly goals.

So without further ado.

Pony/Riding Goals:

Blog more with more media:
I hadn't truly realized how much I've gained from blogging and being part of this community until I wasn't posting much this year. It's amazing how this connection to everyone, even those of you I haven't met yet, motivates me and how everyones comments keep me pushing forward sometimes. I've also truly appreciated the advice I've gotten throughout the years.

Regarding more media, I'm awful at remembering to take pictures and video while I'm at the barn and  typically haven't had anyone to help. I'm going to try to do more myself this year and remember to capture more, especially since I always have my phone with me, but also push myself to ask others to take pictures and video when I can.

Motivational quote board in our arena

No Excuses:
This could be a personal goal but more than anything it relates to my ability to consistently go to the barn. I'm an over thinker and in the past this has led to me trying to have a perfect plan rather than just a plan. I'll be thinking about going to the barn and my brain will start worrying about interrupting feeding schedule, the potential for bad weather, traffic, other people at the barn, the cold, etc. So far the last few months I've been working hard to not overanalyze and just go to the barn when I can without over thinking it. It's been great and a big part of why I've gotten out there as consistently as I have and haven't turned winter and an unheated barn into a Thing. I want to continue with this mind set into the new year.

Track my rides:
I have the Equilab app on my my phone and have had for awhile but I've used it maybe for one ride. While the data isn't going to be as good at the Equisense it's still data that I'd like to have and if nothing else it should be enlightening regarding things like trends in the amount of walk/trot/canter I'm doing each ride and how long my rides are. I already ride with my phone, all I need to do is remember to start the ap before I ride so that should be very reachable.

Continue with dressage lessons and maybe increase frequency:
I've loved having weekly lessons and right now bi-weekly is working for me but I'm also hoping to take advantage of clinics, outside instructors, and riding with my current instructor more. In addition I'm hoping to have K put at least a handful of rides on Katai this year to help us break through the 1st-2nd level barrier that we're struggling with currently.

Vary Our Work:
In the past I've often had something on here specifically about trail riding. The problem is that multiple people close to me have gotten into significant accidents/been significantly injured while trail riding. Plus current pony is hot and can be explosive so it just hasn't been my thing. This year instead of specifically calling out trail riding I just want to introduce more variety including trail walks and other things in the arena such as pole work. I've picked up Jec Ballou's most recent book and plan to post more about that soon!

Get Back In Shape:
This one could probably be in the personal goals but my main reason for increasing my fitness is to be able to ride better. At various points I've been significantly more fit than I am now and it's been so helpful from a riding perspective. I've felt more in control of my body parts, less anxious about pony shenanigans, and just less anxious in general.

Show!!:
I'm setting really easy goals with this one to make it reachable. Mainly I want to get back out there this year and do at least a show or two. Even traveling to a clinic would make me feel like this was a win.

Spend Less:
I'm already on the right track. Last year I reassessed costs for supplements and moved to making my own instead of doing SmartPak. I also moved to a less expensive barn instead of a more expensive one and I'm taking bi-weekly lessons instead of weekly. However, I'm still buying too many unnecessary things (like more saddle pads gah) and while I bought them all on huge sales they aren't necessary items. Things that will make this easy are that I have a great tack set up for saddle, bridle, girth, etc. and shouldn't NEED anything else. I also don't plan to change barns or instructors so that should help to keep my costs lower than in past.

Things that will make this difficult are that I really need to replace my winter boots, I still need a couple more pieces of cold weather gear now that I'm in an unheated barn, and that I'm still hoping to buy a trailer. Plus showing is expensive! Ultimately if I can spend less in unnecessary purchases I'm hoping that I'll net out to close to what I spent last year.

Personal Goals:

Continue to Budget Better:

My BF has been amazing with this and has really gently been guiding/teaching me how to better track my spending. He's got me using more auto pay and keeping track of where my money goes. In the past I would just white knuckle the bit yearly expense, now I'm saving for them ahead of time so that the money is there when I need it.

Pay Down Debt:

I've been working on this for the last couple of years and made a ton of progress when I was paying next to nothing for rent and living at my grandma's house. Last year my expenses went way up and then I ended up needing to pay two separate apartment deposits and moving costs associated which added to increasing the balance on my credit cards. My goal is to get at least one credit card paid off this year and hopefully two

Get a New Job:

I LOVE my current job but it's time for me to move on. I'm not in a hurry on this one because it's pretty bitter sweet to think about but at some point this year I plan to move to a new role/company.

Stretch Goals:

Showing stretch goals:
Ultimate goal is to ride at rated shows and get my 1st level Bronze Medal scores and maybe try out a second level test toward the end of the year even if it's at a schooling show.

Get a Trailer:
This one is going on the list AGAIN. It's definitely a stretch goal but at the very least it's a thing that I need to keep working towards. This certainly doesn't jive with the "Spend Less" goal but part of the spend less goal is to allow me to do something like this.

Lose Some Weight:

Awhile ago I posted about how much weight I had lost over the past 5-6 years or so. Unfortunately I've crept up a bit and while I'm nowhere near to my heaviest I have climbed up significantly further than I ever wanted to. Being in a relationship is just so good for gaining weight :) It's time to lose this again both to make it easier for Katai to carry me and just for my health. This is a stretch goal because just with my goal of getting more in shape I'll likely get back to where I had been stuck pretty easily and I now just want to move past that and lose the last 5 pounds or so this year.

2018 Year in Review

I'm going with a full, wordy, review of 2018 and I'm going to fit it all in one post. Never fear, I analyzed the year as a whole vs. recapping posts so there is some new information here and at least one picture I took for each month I'm recapping. Hopefully the media will get you through this long post!

Pretty weather but a really tough month for us

January:

In general this year was tough riding wise and it really all started last winter. January was a continuation on that and I only ended up with one lesson despite typically taking them weekly with Jane. I was dealing with SADD and anxiety and Katai was dealing with saddle fit, ulcers, and too much energy from not being able to work because of the other two. The happy things going on were that I was dating someone amazing, had an adorable baby puppy, and was looking forward to moving out of my grandma’s house and into my own apartment.

Pony was doubtful and I was enthusiastic. This was during the period of time where we were
 pretty much always at odds with each other

February:

I posted a grand total of 2 times and didn’t even get my saddle shipped out to be resized until early February. By the end of February I had my saddle back and had managed to fit in a couple of lessons but Katai was still full of energy and probably ulcery. I had also moved and was dealing with awful weather. Personal things remained awesome, other than some awful depression and anxiety that came from the move and living in chaos for a while, but pony things still weren’t going well.

Pretty tail, also one of my last photos at Jane's barn *sadface*

March:

March continued to be a struggle. The weather was awful, Katai was naughty and overly full of energy still. I also had my car break down and ended up replacing it which ate up my trailer savings. That was the final straw for me and I decided that I needed to move somewhere that could consistently trailer me to shows, having onsite clinics etc, so that I could have more opportunities. Plus I found out that Jane was selling her farm. I was also still dealing with the transition of moving into a major city that I wasn’t familiar with and was feeling a bit trapped (although I didn’t realize that until later) and needing to figure out how to manage my rescue dog who was having major anxiety and leash aggression issues that I didn’t post much about.

I did actually ride occasionally. You can also see in Katai's expression how much she hated this place.
This was her constant look whenever I had her in the barn.

April:

April was my highest posting month this year with a grand total of 8 posts. Less than half of the amount I was posting in 2017. I moved to the barn in WI and was, at the time, thinking I’d have a show in May which was exciting. The weather continued to do it’s best to defeat me and I was already struggling with figuring out how to get to the barn with all the snow and ice. I posted about my show plans for the year *sadface*, dealt with two fairly significant snow storms, and went to OH for work. Then I was very sick when I got back which just continued making it difficult to be consistent with rides.

 

Getting ready to interview for a new job. Thankfully my boss at the time found out and then changed up my work to make it more sustainable so I ended up staying.

May:

I almost entirely ended up missing May but posted three times right toward the end of the month. The weather had suddenly gotten unseasonably hot and because of pony behavior things we decided we needed to skip the May show. I then realized that I wasn’t going to be able to go to the June show because of previous plans to go to NC with my bf for a wedding. Unbeknownst to me at the time that caused a chain effect of the serious dressage crew at the barn, including my trainer at the time, to lose all faith in me and push me out of their clique. I was learning some great things from S2 especially around how to handle Katai on the ground when she checked out. Partially I was needing to learn this because Katai was ALWAYS checked out at this barn. I’m still not sure of the cause but she hasn’t had such consistently negative (anxious) behavior anywhere else which is suspicious in retrospect. I was also sick for a week or so again.

Pretty sure we make a weird perfect team

June:

The highlight of my riding year (accomplishment wise) was riding for Kristi Wysocki in a clinic and having her give me very little advice (based on riding and showing at 1^st level) when I knew going in that she’s really tough. It definitely gave me confidence that 2^nd level is in our grasp. I also got to bring Moshy to spectate at a dressage show and she was amazing! It was so much fun and I can’t wait to do more of this in 2019.

Riding blind, only a well trained dressage horse could
be so on the aids that they don't need to see right? *snorts*

July:

After only posting early in June I didn’t post again until late July and only got a few posts in. I had diagnosed many of the things that I had been struggling with so far this year and had a plan including moving to a new barn since I had realized that I had overextended myself commute time wise. Something I wasn’t posting about at the time is how much worse the people at the WI barn were making things for me since I was being actively pushed out. I wasn’t sharing because I hate adding in any way to barn drama. Plus my mental health was pretty fragile this year so I was having a tough time not feeling that it was deserved it despite literally doing nothing that should have caused ANY negative feelings from anyone at the barn.

Very few pony pictures were taken in August so enjoy a puppy instead

August:

August was a big transition month and when things actually started to slightly start to look up to me for the first time in over 9 months. I moved Katai in the middle of the month and cut my commute to the barn more than in half. Bf and I also decided moving in together was officially a thing and found an apartment at the end of August. Katai spent most of July and then August entirely off work which set us way back especially since I hadn’t been at all consistent prior to that since back in November/December.

Saying goodby to my cute little apartment
(and the amazing view lol)

Finally in the arena after all that time off even if we weren't riding much yet 

September: 

I didn’t post a single thing in September. Instead I spent the month moving myself and the bf into the new apartment, being really sick (again!), and starting to slowly work toward more time at the barn with Katai.

I can tell I was starting to feel better in October because I took way more pictures

She's perfected the mare glare

 October:

Things really started looking up this month which is funny since typically it’s October/November when I really start to suffer with seasonal depression. Kinda tells you how rough the rest of the year was for me. At any rate, I actually started to be consistent with barn time and was meeting my goals for October. I also posted a bit more about the apartment move and my new tack storage and shared new goals for the rest of the year, did some shopping, and got more media posted.

November:

Despite only posting two times I was doing so much better and averaged 5 times per week at the barn which was a combination mainly of lunging and riding. I was starting to get my position back a bit and Katai was starting to be more consistently cooperative for the first time in over a year. I shared a general update of stuff I hadn’t posted over the past year and reviewed my updated goals which were going well.

Starting to get better at our selfie game

December:

Things have officially been feeling way better and like the worst of whatever the universe was trying to throw at me is over. In December I pretty much posted about shopping (lol) but despite a real lack of any riding content I’ve continued to be really consistent up until this past week or so but I blame that on the holidays. Mainly I’m so looking forward to 2019 and having a way better year in every way.

I’m aware how quiet things have been this year and I apologize for the negative tone in the blog. It truly just has been a year where I kept getting kicked when I was down even with small things. To top that off I was really struggling with anxiety and depression in a way I never have. I’ve tried to keep some of that out of the blog since it’s just not helpful but to still be decently transparent. Saying this isn’t to diminish the amazing things that happened at the end of last year including my relationship with one of the most amazing people I’ve met, moving in with him, my amazing puppy, and my incredible pony. Thank goodness for my amazing bf and his ability to support me through this really tough year because I don’t quite know what would have happened this year without his support. Mostly though I’m looking forward to a fresh start this next year where we can have more fun together, I can accomplish more of my goals (which are mainly riding goals lets be honest) and where I just don’t have so much stress in my life.

2015 Goals - Here We Go!

Some of these goals or ideas have been floating around in my head for so long that it feels amazing to finally be sharing them. Last year I didn't really have any official goals and things were so up and down with Katai that I didn't feel like I could make any. First there was the fact that at this point last year she was so green that we were really just trotting (and that wasn't pretty) and walking and I had no real steering most of the time. Then there was the fact that I don't think I really felt like she was mine, I hadn't really committed to her which made it tough to make any plans. Plus I was at a tiny barn with no way to really take lessons or get any help with anything when I felt stuck.

This year is already starting off way different and I have to admit that I am extremely excited about what 2015 will bring in both my horsie life and my personal/professional life but enough blabbing, time to get on with it!

Goals for Katai:

1. Increase fitness/strength/flexibility

 

- get chiropractic done at least three times in 2015

- get at least three massages in 2015

- start serious fitness training as soon as it's not slippery out to include canter sets

- cross train - add cavaletti by February and small jumps by the end of summer

- add more structured lunging - at least 3-4 times per month

2. Show Pony

- practice with show environments by trailering off property at least five times this year

- show in three dressage schooling shows with at least one at training level

- continue with clipper desensitization

- perfect trailer loading

- ride in one clinic - can be any discipline

- perfect standing tied to the trailer

- get used to riding around other horses and busy warm up areas

3. Dressage Skillz

- nicer canter transitions (no more ear pinz and less choppy trotting) by the end of March

- better bend at all gaits to the left

- more understanding of whip cues - not over react or ignore - by the middle of the year

- listen to outside leg cues

- get a halt that regularily lasts at least 20 seconds by the end of February

- understand all three intro tests by the end of April

- begin trying or hoof at training level tests by the end of May

4. Miscellaneous  

- stay still for mounting

- gain trail riding experience both by ourselves and with others - get outside and ride trails at least 3-4 times per month

Goals for Me:

1. Increase fitness/strength/flexibility

- find a good yoga class and go at least twice per month

- get regular massages to help with physical things

- run in at least one 5K by the end of April (providing I can find one and the weather isn't too horrible), one 10K by the end of June, and Ragnar (total of about 13 miles) again in the late summer

- lose 15 - 20 more pounds

2. Riding Goals

- learn to weight each seatbone as needed - default to even (I sit much more on the right)

- find someone to take regular lessons with by the end of February

- take regular lessons - at least once per month

- learn to keep my lower leg back on a regular basis

- practice a more proper arm position

- regain jumping skills :-)

- gain miles in the saddle

- ride different horses

- renew my subscription to Dressage Today and read every article 

3. Show Human

- put together at least one set of show clothes (schooling show appropriate) including a pair of tall boots

- determine which schooling shows to attend and get signed up

- memorize intro tests by the end of May

- find transportation to shows

4. Miscellaneous 

- get a new job and move to a metro location (more on this in a future post)

- save up and purchase a saddle that fits both of us better

- take more and better pictures and videos

- read and review a horse book every month

- do a better job of journaling my riding in my blog

- make good turnout a habit (pretend I'm getting ready to ride for George Morris everyday lol)

- update the name of this blog (I promise it will be the last time)

I'm going to follow up on goals at the end of every month and be ready to adjust at that point, either add more or take some away.