Lending a Videoing Hand

The bay Arab in the front is who I was taking video of.

Something fun and horse related that happened last week that I didn’t write about is that I went to see a friend ride in her lesson. M is the person that’s taken all those gorgeous show pictures of me and Katai. I used to board at the same barn as her and she has a gorgeous little bay Arabian mare. Unfortunately for the majority of the time that I was at the barn M was dealing with her horse’s soundness problems. Right after I left her mare actually ended up going in for a fairly serious surgery but is now happily sound. M also takes lessons with L was it was great to see her again as well 

I showed up at the barn pretty early and we had a fun time catching up while she groomed and tacked up. The already gorgeous barn also had a few really nice upgrades including new paint, better flooring, nicer tackroom and they added rubber footing to the arena which was AMAZING! I was partially there to talk and catch up and partially there to take some video so I had my hands full with that for most of the lesson and didn’t get any media. I also dislike sharing other people riding on my blog especially if they don’t blog themselves. However, M had a really great lesson! Her mare is still fairly green especially with the setback they had in her soundness but they’re making huge strides and there were parts of the lesson where she was carrying herself like a 2nd level horse.

The arena I was videotaping in with baby pony and awkward riding from me

I also got a chance to catch up with L who had just returned from a really fun road trip out west. I also found out that she’s shopping for performance ponies!! Since Jane is her instructor as well I also found out later that she’d sent some video from her trip to see some of the ponies over to Jane for Jane to assess so I can’t wait to hear if she ended up getting one of them.

I had such a great time and we’re going to try to meet up again for lessons or a trail ride. M also volunteered her truck if I get a light enough trailer and it would be so much fun to have someone to do more trail rides and shows with!

A Kick in The Pants

Winter is always tough on my motivation. The seasonal change is the worst but the depression and headaches that always gives me seems to be over this year which is amazing. The winter is just tough because of the dark and cold.

At my previous barn it wasn't so bad since it was kept much warmer, closer to 50-60* so as soon as I got to the barn I was comfy and could wear just a light jacket. This barn is much chillier and probably kept closer to 32* just so it doesn't freeze. Certainly not complaining but as a huge freeze baby I have to admit that it's been tougher to make myself go to the barn this year.

Especially when we have weeks like this in early December

I've still been to the barn 3-4 days a week but I'm still aiming for 5 so that's a big difference. However on Tuesday H was able to make it to my lesson and it was an interesting evening that somehow left me feeling more motivated.

To start this off I want to preface by saying that I love H. She's been a friend since I was in my teens and she's really a good person. I really enjoy spending time with her especially since both of us are into dressage ponies so we have a lot to talk about. The thing is though, that she brings out all of my insecurities. That's not her fault but mine for letting who she is get into my head. 

H is really a triple threat, she's gorgeous, petit, a beautiful rider, and (the toughest for me to deal with) she rides at an absolutely amazing barn with an absolutely amazing instructor where she regularly gets the opportunity to bop around on a 4 year old Gold Premium filly, a schoolmaster(ish) level horse, and ride with clinicians like Janet Foy.

It's not the fact that I feel insecure around her because I really don't and we both have our own strengths. It's more that I'm jealous of her opportunities. Even as a kid she had a well trained pony, good instruction, and a trailer when I had a green broke and naughty horse that had only been on trail rides, no good instruction, and no trailer so no way to show or take lessons since there weren't any trainers nearby that had lesson horses. Every time I'm around her it's tough for me not to wish I had had the same opportunities in the past and that I could have the same opportunities now since I still don't have a trailer or a trainer who regularly shows throughout our region.

Don't get me wrong. At this point I would never trade and lesson with her instructor (who's a well known dressage judge) instead of Jane. He is amazing but I am at exactly the right place for me and Katai right now and  I wouldn't move even if I could. It's just tough every time I see or hear about her scribing and/or showing at large rated dressage shows and talking about all of the quirky show things or partying with our regions top riders after the show.

This time was especially difficult on me because her instructor, who's also a well respected breeder (as you can tell since he has a 4 year old Gold Premium filly that I believe he produced), has recently purchased no fewer than SIX GRPs. Two are older (3 and 6 I believe), four of them are just babies, and H will have the chance to play with, help break, train, and ride all of those gorgeous ponies. 

One of them in particular hurts because she's a Golden State baby (from the same barn/lines(?) as Forest Nymph) who I was drooling over for weeks before I heard she went to H's trainer. Of course I'm glad she's in such a good home and excited to meet her at some point but it still stings a bit. The fact that H was talking about all the ways that her trainer thinks this pony might be lacking for upper level dressage (obviously extremely nit-picky things since he has a Gold Premium baby) made it sting more especially since I have an amazing but free pony, with no specific breeding, no traceable bloodlines, and not even close to "fancy" movement. Insecurities talking again of course since I CERTAINLY wouldn't trade Katai even if the pony were offered to me tomorrow for free. Katai is amazing, she's my girl and my partner and she's really what I want.

Galaxie from Pics Of You Videos on Vimeo.

In the end, after already feeling like H had been a bit condescending about my ride during my lesson (those damn insecurities talking again) I had an emotional drive home. I was completely aware of how silly I'm being. I mean talk about a bunch of first world problems! I have a pony I adore, a trainer I love, and a barn that felt like home the moment I walked through the door and here I'm disappointed that I'm not at a show barn and don't have a 5 figure GRP. Even I know it's funny, it's the fact that H has all of that and she's about 6 years younger than me that leaves me feeling like all the air got knocked out of me.

I processed the whole way home coming up with all of the above conclusions and finally, about 10 minutes from home realized that action is the best thing. Instead of feeling jealous or less motivated I need to just get my butt to the barn, work extremely hard and make opportunities for myself. I need to stop allowing myself to run out of motivation and go to the barn 3-4 days a week and just go and ride my pony! I need to start working out again so that I have the strength to give her a good ride (I died a bit at my lesson on Tuesday which didn't help), and I need to make getting a trailer this year a priority. This isn't about saving up and getting a fancy pony for me (even though I want(ed) Galaxy so badly that it hurts), it's really about wanting more opportunities. Not to win, but at least to get out there and show and to continue to climb up the levels and that's something I just need to work for.

Taking for Granted

I’ve been kind of unmotivated and negative about horse things recently. I don’t know how much of it has crept into the blog but between some of the things outside of my control, like weather and work travel, I’ve just figured that I’m feeling less motivated than normal.

 However, during a random work meeting (we weren’t talking about anything like this I was just apparently day dreaming) I realized that I’ve been really ungrateful recently.

The 11 year old me would have been so completely and absolutely happy to just have a horse to groom, pet, talk to, and very much to ride.

The 15 year old me would have killed to have any sort of arena space to ride and to be able to take regular dressage lessons. Plus the things above.

The 19 year old me would have thought that I’d died and gone to heaven to be able to have my horse on stall board and have the opportunity (even if it’s infrequent) to show. Plus all of the things above.

The 24 year old me would have been insanely excited to have the perfect pony with talent for dressage (instead of a horse) at all much less one that I’ve trained myself (Katai). Plus all of the things above.

But, for some reason the 30 year old me is just frustrated that I can’t get my perfect pony on a trailer and that I haven’t been able to show more this season. Of course that’s not all I’m thinking.

I’m grateful every day to have the opportunity to board at such nice places, I’m really thankful that I’ll be saving some more money next month (and I think that some of these more negative feelings are still partially from feeling stressed about money) and of course, I’m insanely grateful that I have Katai in my life. It’s just time for me to take stock of what I really have and get back to a place where I feel like the 11 year old me when I’m driving to the barn to groom MY pony, and ride MY pony, and pet MY pony, and feed MY pony treats. That’s one of my main goals for the rest of the year so here goes, time to stop taking everything I have for granted.

Throw Back Thursday

Throw way back, before I was born back.

I grew up on a farm that has been in my parent's family for over one hundred years. I knew that they had grazed cows in the field that I had goats and then horses in and I knew that there was a horse or two there at one point. However, I had no idea that this had happened.

Just look at all those horses and ponies!! My great uncle is in there and this is the exact same space that my family had horses when I was growing up.

You can kind of see the field from a slightly different angle here where my high school friend is in the front and I'm in the back on the pony. You can even see the same two wooden posts in the background if you look closely.

So cool!!

Need

I posted this photo on Facebook saying that I really needed a blue ribbon with purple strips for Katai. Then my friend H commented that she needed the one with red pokadots for her gelding. It's so true...

Seven Deadly Sins: blog hop

Thanks to L. Williams awesome idea today's post is all about the blog hop. What a great idea for one of these!

 

Pride

Seven great things/strengths in your riding life

1. My pony - she's awesome, has great potential and confirmation and was free!
2. My new opportunity to take regular lessons from a really excellent instructor
3. The nice, well fitted equipment that I've worked so hard and saved for.
4. My riding skill
5. My pony's patience
6. The fact that I can afford any of this
7. My ability to learn
8. My love of learning

 

Envy

Seven things you lack or covet for you or your horse

1. A wool show sheet
2. BoT shtuff
3. A Mattes half pad
4. Show Clothes - like I literally have none
5. An ability to pull manes
6. Show experience
7. A truck and trailer

Wrath

Seven things that make you angry

1. Pony tantrums
2. Saddle fit changes :(
3. DQs
4. People who think they have all the answers
5. People trying to train my horse while I'm training my horse.
6. Dogs with no manners being let loose around horses
7. Thrush

 

 

Sloth

Seven things you neglect to do or cut corners on 

1. Tail care
2. Saddle pad laundry
3. Putting on leg protection sometimes
4. Letting my horse walk off as I'm mounting
5. Wiping off bits
6. Treating scrapes
7. Mane Pulling

Greed

Seven most expensive things you own for your horse/riding

In order of most to least

1. Thornhill Pro-Trainer Danube
2. Neue Schule bit
3. Pink Equine Bridle
4. People on Horses pink boots
5. Dublin boots for me
6. Mattes saddle pad (no sheepskin underneath)
7. Heavy weight turnout blanket

 

Gluttony

Seven guilty pleasures or favorite items

1. My collection of riding socks
2. My tack cleaning supplies
3. Hoof picks with brushes
4. My pink PoH boots
5. My pink lined bridle
6. Having people admire my pony and her fan club
7. Super Ponies - Big talent in a small package

 

Lust

Seven things you love about horses and riding

1. Horse expressions
2. Horse smell
3. Riding lessons
4. Shows
5. Early summer mornings at the barn
6. Blown square horse nostrils
7. My pony's whinny when she sees me

I totally can't get the link thing to work with my layout..... fail :(