Stuck

The catalyst for all of this

Last year around this time I posted looking for advice about memberships needed to show and you guys were so kind and helpful. Recently I've been chewing over a more difficult, long term problem and realized that maybe what I need is some fresh perspective.

For the past 20 years I've been lucky enough to own horses and unlucky enough to have no way to transport them. I've never had the use of or owned a trailer in that time and while my friends recently have been amazing and offered to help out it's always fallen through for one reason or another (Katai's lack of willingness to load, family plans, emergencies, etc)

One of the few times recently that plans
didn't fall through and we had SO MUCH FUN!!!

I've never been able to plan a show schedule, plan for clinics I want to go to, or go on trail rides off property. Last year I planned for a trailer and that fell through. This year I was even more certain it would happen and now it's likely fallen through again since I needed to replace my car. At this point I have limited availability (maybe 4 times per year?) to show and no ability to ride outside of the arena except for another arena sized area in the grass near the barn.

I'm so sick of being stuck in this same predicament time after time after time.

Katai's vote is for more pasture, more trail rides, and more friends but no trailer
Also more peppermints would be her favorite

In considering this I've looked at how I "keep" horses really holistically which in my case means looking at my boarding situation. In order for me to not need a trailer I'd need the following things.

-Indoor arena (an absolute necessity in this area unless I want to skip riding for at least 5 months out of the year)
-Dressage instruction on site
-Trails of some sort or fairly significant property to ride around
-Friends/fellow boarders/coach who was consistently trailering to shows and welcomed me to tag along with Katai (as well as allowing me time to practice loading her in their trailer)
-Decent distance to drive (my cut off so far has been 40-45 minutes each way)
-Within budget (I could spend a bit more than I do right now but not significantly more like I was at the last barn and this is also a dealbreaker)
-Ability for Katai to get her supplements, at least the Magnesium

I have not found a single barn so far that meets more than a few of the items on the list. J's barn came closest but there was the whole abusive trainer thing.

In addition the things I'd prefer are:
-Plenty of turnout (I don't think Katai gets enough right now)
-Heated barn at least for grooming and tacking up
-Wash stall
-More people to ride with
-Open minded people who want to do things like trail ride, do canter sets, go to clinics unrelated to dressage, and basically just enjoy their horses

Jane's barn also meets four of the top items items but if we were looking at "ruthlessly excluding" that doesn't meet it either and I am getting really bored, tired, and annoyed with only ever being able to ride in the indoor arena. I can't do canter sets, I can't really work on fitness, I can't give Katai new challenges or exposure to the things she'll see at a show. The trailer this year was going to fix all of this but now I'm just trying to re-examin. I REALLY don't want to leave Jane but I have thought of a couple of options.

Hand grazing only has been our jam recently

1. Find pasture board (with an indoor arena) and use the difference between what I pay now and that to buy a trailer. This hasn't been an option because of grass but I could try the Greenguard muzzle and since I'm riding more consistently I may potentially be able to keep Katai's weight down. I could manage without a dressage instructor on site as long as I could trailer to one (Jane) on some sort of regular basis. Also, unless pasture board is really close I'll need them to be able to give Katai her supplements.

2. Find a more active dressage show barn that would trailer me places and potentially meet all of the items above except the distance. I know of two within this category and one that would meet everything except budget which is a huge deal breaker. This way I could skip the truck and trailer (which would be my preference) and have more show/trail ride camaraderie at the same time.

3. ?

So, fellow bloggers, I'm looking for some advice. What would you do? What are deal breakers for you? Please give me blunt and honest feedback. If I'm being a baby for wanting more and you think I should just stick it out and save up for a trailer let me know. If you have advice let me know. I really do want your opinions.