Showing Progress

Thank you all for your comments on my last post. It means a lot knowing that so many of you are following along and supporting me and Katai :)

Running in the background this whole summer has been a really stressful few months at work. Two tough trips out west weren't the whole of it and things haven't really gotten any quieter. I never really got a chance to de-stress when I got back from my last two week trip and it's wearing on me. My mom showed up for a surprise visit yesterday just to stop by and initially because I wasn't expecting her and just wanted to crash on the couch in my pjs and maybe have a glass of wine or do some whining I wasn't very nice. To all of you who are parents I commend you for all the crap you put up with from your kids. My mom just stuck around, I apologized and got a hug and some time to talk through what was going on. I've told other people about it but there's nothing like having a good cry with my mom to make me feel better. It surprised me how much lighter I felt after especially since all she did was listen but it did help so much.

After that it was back to show prep and I finished cleaning my tack and assembled my bridle to show by adding the throat latch and plain browband.

While I was cleaning my boots I also got a reminder of how much my position has improved. I'm sure some of you remember my rouge right foot.

If not, here's a picture for reference and this was a good day.

This was one of the first things that Jane tackled and while that leg is still a work in progress since I have a tough time sinking weight into my heel, Jane no longer has to tell me to turn my toe/knee in.

Picture from this winter, also a good day and not very consistent

However, I hadn't really realized how far I've come until I saw the wear marks on my boots. Previously the left boot had a wear mark fairly far back on the upper calf and the right boot had no wear marks since it was the back of my calf that I most often had contact with against Katai's side.

Now they look like this :)

Left boot, the wear mark toward the front is completely new

Right boot, not as much wear towards the back since
I skipped to more wear toward the middle/front

I'm really happy with how even they are! Also happy that I'm riding enough to cause this much wear to my boots. Those fancy boots may be closer than I think haha.

But back to show prep!

I got the majority of my stuff packed, located my coggins paperwork (whew!), and have a shopping list of stuff to pick up tonight/on the way to the barn tomorrow morning. Unfortunately the forecast has continued to show all day rain so it looks like we'll be getting wet. I'm still glad that it's going to be chilly and wet rather than extremely hot and humid but we'll see how quickly I start complaining tomorrow ;)

My Riding Schedule and How It Relates to a Famous Cat

This cat to be exact

Previously I'd have a schedule planned for the week which would look something like this;

Sunday: Lesson

Monday: Off

Tuesday: Ride

Wednesday: Ride

Thursday: Ride

Friday: Off

Saturday Ride

In a good week I'd ride or not ride as planned. The problem was always if something came up, I had a stressful day at work, the weather was really bad, my lesson was rescheduled etc. Unfortunately if those things happened I normally didn't ride on a day off, I just didn't ride on a scheduled day.

One of the main problems is that I have a stressful job. 80% of the time when I think about riding that evening during my work day it sounds not only like the least fun thing I can think of but almost impossible with the mental state I'm in. Especially when I need to get home, make food, change, and then drive the half hour to the barn. Because of that, all I can do all day is think about how to not go to the barn and instead sit at home and veg out in front of the tv.

And I even got some video!

Instead I've changed things up this week and now I'm not planning anything. All day long when I think about not going to the barn I just ignore it and go on with my day while focusing on being in the moment. Then, even when I get home I don't think about it and don't plan anything. Instead as I'm finishing up dinner it's actually started to sound like fun and by the time rush hour is over all I want to do is get changed into my riding clothes and head to the barn. 

Then because I didn't have an expected schedule I just went to the barn every day I could so that when I ended up with a day I couldn't go it didn't actually reduce the number of days that I went to the barn at all. In fact, this is the first week I've made it to five, productive, days at the barn in months. Even better, it was easy and non-stressful.

So, basically all day long I could either go or not go to the barn and that flexibility has made it sound like fun rather than a chore :)

The Challenge of Goals

Tell me about a challenge you set for yourself and accomplished, or set yourself a new challenge and keep us updated!

 

 

I’ve honestly been avoiding this blog hop like the plague. I have issues setting goals, not that I don’t do it or won’t do it but that I’ve learned that I can’t and although that frustrates my type A personality it’s just better this way. I’m a perfectionist and have some OCD tendencies. When I set a goal I do anything to meet it and in the past that has included things like ruining friendships or hurting myself. Because of that I’ve learned to not set big, specific goals. When I was a cellist I pushed myself so hard that at one point I was having up to 3 stress headaches/migraines per week and I developed tendonitis and a shoulder injury, both of which still bother me. It took me almost a year to let that go. Then when I was looking for my current job I had set a goal about when I needed to find something (I beat it by a few months) and again, multiple stress headaches/migraines, two colds, and some weight loss but I met my goal. Riding Dressage is what I do for fun, it’s what I do to get away from the world and to escape some of my perfectionism. I come from a long line of obsessive people, I have multiple relatives (including my mom and sister) that have struggled with eating disorders. I have a different sister who is a professional musician (already successful at a young age in an incredibly competitive career) that has so many injuries that I don’t know how she’s going to be able to continue to retirement. It’s a daily struggle for me to not bring that to my riding.

It is really tough for me not to be able to set goals and succeed but I’ve figured out a workaround. My yearly goals are a good example of this. I set small goals that will slowly work me towards a bigger goal but I don’t get down to specifics and I don’t set dates. Both are extremely important for most goals but so far I have been circling my big goal (and sort of stalking it :-) ). My goal is to keep wearing it down and eventually go in for the kill when I’m pretty much there so that my risk of hurting something/ruining something/breaking myself is at a minimum.

My big goal right now is a Bronze Medal on my pony.

My even bigger goal that I’ve never even mentioned on this blog is to get that accomplished early enough in Katai’s life that we could actually take the next step and start on a Silver Medal but that’s getting ahead of myself.

Regarding the Bronze I obviously haven’t talked about it much on this blog and I haven’t, and won’t set any specific goals or dates about it since based on past events I know that the likelihood of hurting Katai or myself or ruining our relationship over it is just too high. However I have, and will continue, to set small goals that head me in the correct direction.

Things like finding transportation to shows, showing in at least one clinic still this year, continuing to improve me and Katai’s relationship, and continuing to take weekly dressage lessons. They’re small, maybe insignificant seeming, goals but since I’m still aware of where I’d like to be they’ve been working to head me in the right direction over the past couple of years. I mean we went from this

To this

To this

In almost exactly three years which I feel like is a huge success especially without a consistent trainer and on a disaster (said with love) of a pony that I trained myself. So far, in that time frame, I’ve checked off the following list.

Find a good dressage instructor, get Katai used to clippers, get Katai used to trailering, get Katai to go forward off aids, get Katai to accept saddle and bridle, get Katai to accept cross ties, get Katai to pick up all four feet, be able to lead said pony, condition pony, get rid of underneck muscle, teach pony to lunge, get pony out on trail rides, find a place to board with dressage instructor, make sure you can blanket pony, make sure I can fly spray pony, teach pony to wear a fly mask, teach pony to tie to trailer, get pony to stop running me over, get pony used to stall, teach pony to stand still at mounting block, teach pony to wear bit, teach pony to steer, teach pony about leg cues, teach pony about contact, teach pony to stop, teach pony to stop off seat, teach pony about indoor arenas, teach pony to accept treats nicely, get pony to stand for farrier, get pony to stand for vet, teach pony about hoses, teach pony about wash stalls, teach pony about ground poles, teach pony about bridges, teach pony to ride, make sure other people can handle pony, teach pony to not freak out when friend leaves, improve relationship, teach pony to be caught, teach pony not to pull back when tied, teach pony not to rear, teach pony to walk, teach pony to trot, teach pony to canter, teach pony not to counter bend, teach pony to slow down (still in progress :-) ) and of course many more that I can’t think of right now.

So I think that my goal, for this blog hop, is actually to continue down the path I’m on and not set any one big specific goal but to continue to keep riding fun and relaxed and build that relationship with my wonderful pony :-)

‘Know thyself" - Socrates

Bad Blogger

I have been an extremely bad blogger recently and it's not because of the weather or lack of horsie, pony, stuff to report. It's actually all because of work.

When I started at my new job I was warned that the other generalist (I was going to be one of two for a company of over 500 in an HR department that consists of manager, assistant and two generalists) was going out on maternity leave and when she got back she would be promoted to the education manager. This meant that it would be me and only me while we looked for a new generalist.

We actually found someone fairly quickly who was extremely qualified but fast forward two months and she had failed to learn even the basics of the job so was let go.

We are now on the hunt again and that means that since I started I've basically been running the generalist show. I'd had very little experience on a lot of the issues I'm currently facing when I started but I'm starting to feel like a pro. The problem is that I'm also getting burnt out, like really really burnt out.

Instead of having 10 managers and 240 employees relying on me like I should have, I've got 20+ managers and over 500 employees relying on me for every single thing that requires HR. I'm recruiting for over 20 positions at a time, dealing with employee relations, terminations, legal, paperwork, orientations, paperwork, trouble shooting, time cards, paperwork, complaints, many computer issues, complaints and paperwork.

Rant over....

Seriously, I love my job and all the people that I work with. I'm learning a ton from my boss and have been pretty positive and able to cope but this week I feel like I hit a wall. We NEED to get someone capable in that position ASAP so I can concentrate on stuff outside of work and not feel so tired and stressed all the time.

I did get moved into my new apartment last week and while it didn't help my stress levels at all I LOVE it here. It's great being on my own and not living with two huge dogs and four cats has made life way better :)

I've also been working with Katai who continues to adjust to her new home. She has been so relaxed and happy and I think she really likes her new buddy who is much less neurotic than her previous herd mates were. I rode her for the first time at the new place, if you count mounting and dismounting a bunch, lots of flexing and a couple of short walks a ride, and she was great. She is starting to relax and I could tell that she was feeling naughty today so I kept is short and ended positive.

I should have time to ride on Saturday and I hope that since I'll have a little more time that I'll be able to get more pictures.