2019 Recap

Merry Christmas Eve! There are more pony updates on the way, including a really unexpected and amazing surprise, but I wanted to get this post done first.

I’m going to keep this pretty short partially just because I don’t have a ton of content. I actually thought about just skipping it but honestly, since this is meant to be a journal I think that looking back and reviewing the entire year is actually really helpful for me so here goes.

January Pony Face

January:
I was so excited to be leaving 2018 behind that I started 2019 strong with 9 posts which included sharing my awesome Christmas hauls and lots of goal setting. I’m not quite sure how I posted that much because what I remember about January was that I was sick for at least 3 weeks… I also found out that my trainer, K, was leaving us for the East coast which sucked and immediately threw my plans for the year into a tailspin.

One of the few photos I took in February, seems appropriate

February:
The universe was definitely getting to me and I remember getting sick again. It was also horrendously cold and I didn’t have a heated barn. I didn’t actually post at all this month, one of the few months in the entire life of this blog where I didn’t post.

Tough to believe that it was sunny and decent outside in March! Only a few more months

March:
I bounced back with 5 posts and was doing a lot of processing things with mindset, goals, and my mental health. Some of that showed up on the blog and some didn’t but it definitely had already started to be a big part of my year.

This definitely needed to be a Jen and Connor picture

April:
I only had 3 posts in April but it was definitely one of the best months riding wise. The weather was starting to really improve and I wrote about two “clinics” that I had a chance to ride in. Those were awesome and really set the tone for all of the work I did this year with Katai on relaxation. Back when I was actually able to ride, we were making leaps and bounds of progress on this topic. In addition, my boyfriend and I went to IN to see Jen from CobJockey and got to meet her significant other as well. It was an AWESOME trip where I got to ride Connor and see Jen’s barn which is gorgeous. It really felt like my year was starting to look up horse wise!

Don't remind me of the time when she was missing half her mane :/

May:
In May I posted 4 times and shared my haul from the MN horse expo (which was AMAZING), reviewed some products, and complained about a bad dental experience.

Delicious vegan foods I made myself

June:
I only posted twice in June and not much happened. Mostly I shared more about mindset things and answered a blog hop/questionnaire thing.

One of my favorite pictures of Katai this year

July:
Despite only posting three times, things really started to happen for me in June. If nothing else, 2019 has been the year of focusing on other big personal things and June was really the point where everything started to fall into place. In one enormous post I wrote about getting my new job (which I’m still loving by the way), finding out that we were buying a house, and plans to move my pony. I didn’t know where or when I was moving my pony at that point and neither barn I talked about ended up working out but I had outlined that I was on a waitlist and had determined that it was a goal to move in 2019.

August:
In continuing the theme of not posting much I posted three times in August. The main post in August was that I had found a place to move Katai! Thanks to a friend I had discovered a third option and decided to make the move. I also posted a little about the routine I was working on at that time.

One of, what feels like, very few rides in our new arena so far

September:
September was my second highest posting month thus far with 7 posts. The routine I had set for myself was really helping with motivation and because I was at the barn regularly I had more content. Funny how that works :) The biggest thing that happened was definitely moving to my current barn.

Throughout the rest of the month I really grew to love the social environment at the barn and it continues to be the best barn culture of any barn I’ve boarded at.

Such a regal and gorgeous girl <3

October:
I only posted twice this month because despite all of the lovely things at the new barn and me finally feeling incredibly motivated Katai started having all sorts of little health things cropping up. These prevented me from doing much riding at all in October but I did really buckle down, work hard, and start making progress on treating her for ulcers, thrush, and sensitive feets.

November:
I bounced back and posted 5 times but it was for the bad reason that Katai went horribly lame. Luckily it all turned out to be an abscess but that was after two vet visits, lots of bute, a steroid shot, and lots of paddock rest. It will take a little while for my check book to recover but I’m so so so glad it turned out ok. I remain proud of myself that throughout most of October and November I was at the barn almost every single day. That was a huge accomplishment and really showed me what I’m capable of.

Rather than a picture of a swollen pony leg, how about a picture of Moshy enjoying Lion King :)

December:
With this post I’m at only 5 posts so far for December but that already means that I posted more in 2019 than 2018 which feels like an accomplishment even if I’m still at half of what I was posting previously. I’m honestly really glad to be leaving 2019 behind because even though I accomplished some great things it still feels like I worked excessively hard for everything I did accomplish. Here’s to hoping that all of that work continues to pay dividends and that 2020 is a bright, shining, year of progress!

Mia, one of Katai's buddies

2019 Goals Recap

Another of my favorite photos from this past year.

Hmmm, where to begin :)

When I first thought about doing this post I thought that clearly I didn’t accomplish my 2019 goals, however, in actuality I accomplished more of them than I thought. I figured I’d outline some of the goals for 2019 that we accomplished, didn’t accomplish, and the things we accomplished without ever writing a goal.

Things that Were On My List

No Excuses:
Oh my gosh has this been a HUGE improvement this year. I have always had low resiliency (although I didn’t necessarily know what to call it) and would give up at any excuse to do so. Not on the really big things but the small things for sure. This year I’ve really dug in, in multiple ways and proceeded without making excuses. I may still whine about it but more and more I’m just getting up and still doing the thing. I’m SUPER proud of myself and even if this were the only goal I accomplished this year I’d feel good.

Too funny not to share. I was in the middle of filming our riding routine for my 

Insta story and Katai decided to pee complete with grunting.

Track my Rides:
This was a success although not maybe specifically in the way I thought it would be. My goal throughout most of this year was to use Equilab more often and preferably through every ride. I do still sort of want to use it but I have some issues with it including that I don’t have a good way to carry my phone and, while I’d love to keep ride notes in there as well, I’ve really been trying to get away from my phone especially at the barn. It also wears the battery down pretty quick since my phone is old and if I had to choose between that and listening to music, I’d rather listen to music.

Instead, what’s worked really well for me is the planner I’ve been keeping. It’s called a Clever Fox planner and I like the formatting a lot. It’s the first planner I’ve actually had that works for my brain. I’ve managed to keep up on it and track throughout most of the year, however, it’s been more about planning out a schedule ahead of time, tracking when I’m actually at the barn, and taking some minimal notes about what the ride/training was like. I’m looking at other options for taking more detailed notes this next year including a more specific riding journal or figuring out using the Equilab.

The amazing deal of the century were these two Pikeur show shirts for $5 each

Spend Less/Budget Better/Pay Down Debt:
This was also a huge success this year! Not only have I not been using a credit card at all for any purchases but between myself and my boyfriend we’ve managed to put together a down payment for a house in about 5 months while also paying down credit card debt. This is HUGE for me and I’m so happy that, thanks to my boyfriend, I’ve found a system for budgeting that works for me. I’m also planning out the next few years budget for paying down the rest of my high interest debt and actually being able to afford, not “afford”, a truck and trailer.

Get a New Job:
Big success. I not only found a job, it’s a job I’m really enjoying with a great boss and a much more equitable income for my skill level and experience.

Cuddling Connor <3

Dressage Lessons/Clinics:
I’d mark this as sort of a success. I took advantage, as much as I could, of taking lessons from K while she was still at my previous barn and then did two clinic rides with her trainer. Those were fantastic rides and I learned a lot. However, now despite having access to a trainer I think my goals have shifted slightly and I’m hoping to be able to trailer out to one of 2-3 trainers for lessons each month or two during the summer when the weather is such that the roads are safe.

I’m not sure what that means for next year since I’m fairly certain that I won’t own my own truck and trailer.

Vary the Work:
I’d say this is also sort of a success. I found a trail ride buddy at the old barn and we had a couple of great mini trail rides between both of us struggling with mental health stuff and a very hot and humid summer. I also did a bunch of work in hand, ground poles, and learned some new groundwork exercises. Also, just in terms of keeping the work fresh, Katai hasn’t been working so there’s that…

Show:
Nope! I’ll leave it at that.

Get Back in Shape:
No :( This was a very achievable goal but it didn’t happen. I’m still out of shape, weaker than I want to be and way less fit plus I have weight to lose. I am working on it now and I’m feeling really committed to making this happen.

Blog More:
I mean technically I’ve blogged more this year than last year but only by a bit so I’m not going to count that as a true success since my goal was to get back to posting at least 10-15 times per month.

Another Insta Stories Video

Things That Weren’t on My List

Relaxation:
I had a couple of realizations with this over 2019. The first was working with K’s trainer in April when she told me that “until you get the relaxation you can’t get anything else” which was basically to say that Katai is fantastic and very talented but in order to progress we needed to work on relaxation first and foremost. I’ve never had an instructor bring that up before but I agree wholeheartedly. I spent most of the rides following that working on relaxation and was making a ton of headway so I’m looking forward to getting back to that.

In addition, regarding relaxation on the ground I had the realization when waiting for the vet in November that my anxiety has been the main cause of ground work related issues. Katai is SUPER well trained and light to lead, she stays out of your personal space, and responds to just intention even if you need her to back up or pivot around. I’ve never handled another horse that’s as responsive and polite as she is to handle.

However, if her adrenaline is up her brain shuts off and there is almost zero ability to influence her unless you are absolutely being way overbearing. At that point she starts invading personal space, running into you with her head and neck, rearing up while tied or even in hand, and making stupid decisions like trying to bolt. I’ve approached that as a training gap but it is absolutely an anxiety related issue instead which is helpful from an awareness perspective and also good motivation for me to do some work to improve my ability to manage my anxiety.

The mare bear herd :)

Grooming:
I got a new clipper I really like so my body clip looks much more professional. I’ve also been getting her cleaned up more often if she has manure or urine on her back legs even if it takes a mini sponge bath to do so. It’s her least favorite thing but having the heated barn with a hose and warm water makes this possible again.

Heat:
Yes, moving to the barn was 100% the right thing both for my mental health (great people!!!) but also for my physical health (it’s warm!!!). It makes it take way less motivation to go out to the barn and I can be out there when it’s really cold, just not necessarily if it’s snowy so at least I’m missing fewer days which was the goal.

There are many things I won't miss from our apartment
but I will miss this view from our rooftop

Settling In:
Something I haven't written about much is how much things have changed for me in the past year in regards to really settling in vs. always having my foot out the door on everything. I've always wanted to live in a different state, for example, which led to me always having that in the back of my mind with every decision I made. It meant that I never really committed to friendships, jobs, or relationships. I also didn't feel like I could make big decisions because I wasn't sure how things would change in the future. Meeting my boyfriend and having him know what he wants (where he wants to live which is local and that he is a city boy) really made me re-look at my motivation around moving etc.

Doing that, meant that I realized that I don't actually care that much about living somewhere else and that I'm truly ok with boarding for the rest of my life instead of owning my own farm. These things meant that instead of whining about things like the weather and dreaming of living somewhere else I'm just able to buckle down and find creative solutions to those complaints. I've also been committing to friendships, settling into the work I'm doing at my job (and envisioning a career there), and really trying to find my place in the local community (both horse related and social).

It has felt so good and like the No Excuses goal, even if this were the only thing that came from this year it would feel like a huge success.