Brutal Cold

I'm at a weird place right now both in my personal life and riding. It's been around -20 to -30 with windchill most days last week and now again this week. It actually warmed up a little this weekend so I made it out briefly but after about 15 minutes my fingers were so frozen that I couldn't bend them  and they hurt really bad. I know I need better winter gear but right now it's just not in the budget. Hopefully in the next month or so I can save up for some better liners and gloves but for now its just not worth it to ride and spend time at the barn when it's that cold.

In other news I, for the first time since I remember, have no direction. I'm at a crossroads right now and my decision will clearly define my future in a way that's putting a lot of pressure on me to make the "right" decision even though I'm not sure that there is any such thing. Unfortunately that is causing me to not quite know where I'm headed with Katai either and since she's such an important part of my life it's been rough.

If I move I'll be moving her with me but then I have some decisions to make about barns, trailer options, instructors etc and I feel like I'm on hold until I know. Problem is that I can't decide if I want to move or not. This is the right time in my life and it's not that I'm scared but there are some really compelling reasons to stay as well.

Blech, I just don't know what to do and that's not me.

I'm going to try to make some decision by the end of the week but it'll be tough.

Luckily we're supposed to have a big warm up by the end of the week. We're supposed to get temperatures up into the upper 30s which will be more than amazing. I know I'll feel better once I get some time with my pony.