Sunday, June 23, 2019

Mental

Very first time on her back!
I've had a lot going on lately and have still been working a lot to try to figure out why I've lost my motivation and some of the magic of riding and dressage that I was feeling for so long.

A few things have come up that I just wanted to document here for my future self.

First, I was feeling really burnt out after having weekly lessons. I realize that doing that is the quickest and best way to improve but while I very much want to do my best, having such regular lessons, especially as more started to happen in life, was REALLY tough.

Way less inverted
My preference would be monthly lessons or lessons/clinics as needed vs. always needing to feel ready for a lesson each week. Katai also was feeling burnt out and I think a bit body sore on that schedule. She's been WAY more relaxed since we moved to the barn we're at now and all of the behavioral things we'd been dealing with are gone. As I slowly get her stronger and back into more work I'll be curious if they come back but I kind of suspect they won't since I still won't be putting as much pressure on both of us.

Doing this right now has allowed me to feel like I can take a breath and do things like trail ride, do more spa days, lunge, and find a schedule that works for both of us. It does mean that I've been at the barn less but for the past few weeks I've been out there 3-4 days per week which isn't bad by any means.
Such a baby, so tight, so inverted but still a cool picture

Second, my amazing bf and I were talking about how I feel like there's something weird going on this year where time has flown by and I feel like nothing happened. He was quiet for a minute and then very insightfully asked if I thought it was because I was focusing on too many things and spinning my wheels. I was like yes, that is exactly what's been going on but I hadn't realized it until he said something.

With him in my life I've had so many more things going on, meeting more people, and more hobbies vs. just watching Netflix and riding. It's wonderful but also a little overwhelming. I'm trying to boil it down a bit and do those things but not focus on them so much and not spend some much time worrying about things. Instead I've been just going to the barn on a regular schedule and learning to say no to social engagements.

So much more grown up :)
Third, I feel like I've been waiting on a lot this year. I have a few big things on the horizon that are pretty life changing. One of those is that I started interviewing and looking for a new job in January this year. While I started out looking really casually I got close to an offer a couple of times (second in line actually twice for jobs I really wanted) which was tough. It's not that I'm unhappy in my job, just that I'm ready to move on, increase my salary, and have more growth opportunities. After missing out on those two jobs I started looking more seriously and that's been unfortunately taking a lot of my time and energy. It means good things for riding and horse things though since part of the barrier I've been facing recently with this is budget related.

2 comments:

  1. So good to see an update from you! I feel the same way about riding, when I have too many plates spinning it takes all the fun out of riding for me. Fingers crossed on the job hunt, that would make a difference in so many ways for you <3

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  2. Glad to see you blogging again. It's hard when things get quite busy - horses are supposed to be fun and are supposed to be an outlet for stress relief. Sometimes when it doesn't feel like that, we have to step back and just make things simpler. Fingers crossed for you on your job hunt!

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