I’ve been kind of unmotivated and negative about horse things recently. I don’t know how much of it has crept into the blog but between some of the things outside of my control, like weather and work travel, I’ve just figured that I’m feeling less motivated than normal.
However, during a random work meeting (we weren’t talking about anything like this I was just apparently day dreaming) I realized that I’ve been really ungrateful recently.
The 11 year old me would have been so completely and absolutely happy to just have a horse to groom, pet, talk to, and very much to ride.
The 15 year old me would have killed to have any sort of arena space to ride and to be able to take regular dressage lessons. Plus the things above.
The 19 year old me would have thought that I’d died and gone to heaven to be able to have my horse on stall board and have the opportunity (even if it’s infrequent) to show. Plus all of the things above.
The 24 year old me would have been insanely excited to have the perfect pony with talent for dressage (instead of a horse) at all much less one that I’ve trained myself (Katai). Plus all of the things above.
But, for some reason the 30 year old me is just frustrated that I can’t get my perfect pony on a trailer and that I haven’t been able to show more this season. Of course that’s not all I’m thinking.
I’m grateful every day to have the opportunity to board at such nice places, I’m really thankful that I’ll be saving some more money next month (and I think that some of these more negative feelings are still partially from feeling stressed about money) and of course, I’m insanely grateful that I have Katai in my life. It’s just time for me to take stock of what I really have and get back to a place where I feel like the 11 year old me when I’m driving to the barn to groom MY pony, and ride MY pony, and pet MY pony, and feed MY pony treats. That’s one of my main goals for the rest of the year so here goes, time to stop taking everything I have for granted.